Where's my happy ever after?
by Mrstrentreznor
Summary: Both Jake and Leah are unhappy with their lives; the remnants left after imprinting. This story follows after the events in 'What was she doing' and 'What was he thinking'. AU - warning for sex, underage drinking, language
1. Not our job

**Where's my happy ever after?**

Author: mrstrentreznor

Title: where's my happy ever after?

Rating: NC-17 for sex, underage drinking, language  
Fandom: Twilight  
Pairing: Jake and Leah

Feedback: please and thankyou

Summary: both Jake and Leah are unhappy with their lives; the remnants left after imprinting.

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

**AN: this starts after the end of 'what was he thinking' - so Paul has imprinted on Bella in my AU and they live together – Jake was deflowered by them and took up girls and dating for a cover story – Jake is alpha and Sam is semi retired as Emily has just found out she is pregnant**

**Chapter 1 Not our job**

Jacob Black thought that the pack had handled more than a few changes in recent years. Paul imprinting on Bella had certainly thrown everyone for a loop, but it was all sorted out now. At least Paul and Bella were living happily ever after, but Jake was sulking today.

And the last thing he officially needed today was Leah Clearwater in his face. He had made her his second in command of the pack; his beta. She had run with it, almost literally. She was imbued with a new sense of purpose. But as a result she wanted to work the pack even harder than Jake thought was reasonable.

"Oh, come on, Leah," he grumbled, "We don't need double patrols. The number of vamp sightings has dropped off so dramatically. Our reputation is hard earned and they are staying out of this area."

"Well we should expand the patrols then, see if we can cover more ground, protect more people," she said.

He gave her a withering glance. "Sure sure, we could protect all of Seattle if we wanted as well. But** it's. Not. Our. Job**."

It all sounded very reasonable, but he knew the real reason she wanted to expand patrols; the pack was the only thing she had left now. Sam and Emily were expecting a baby. It would be the first pack baby and everyone was over the moon. Except for Leah.

He understood, any pathetic last hope she had that Sam might come back to her was fading. Sam was a different man now; Jake had stepped up to the alpha position and Sam had gratefully gone into semi retirement. It was just too hard to have two Alphas. With the easing of his pack responsibilities he had become more like the old Sam. He was softer, he smiled more and it was tearing Leah's already damaged heart into more pieces. He was _her_ Sam again.

The hard-faced uber-responsible pack leader was a thing of the past, but his love for Emily? That had remained a constant. Jake wondered if Leah had hoped that when he stopped phasing, the imprint would fade too. Jeez, she couldn't really have been hanging on for that could she?

He gave her a look.

"What?" she grunted at him.

He probably shouldn't have said it, but he did; some boils needed to be lanced. "Did you really think the imprint would fade when he stopped phasing?"

She blinked; she went to say something and stopped. She shut her mouth with a snap, her eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she turned on her heel and stormed out of the room.

Fuck, he didn't mean to make her cry. In fact he couldn't remember the last time he had seen Leah cry. Fuck.

He sighed heavily, rubbed his eyes and wished, not for the first time, that he had never become a shape shifter.

He stood there for a while contemplating his life when he heard people approaching. He could tell it was Quil and Embry from the chatter. They were arguing about something from the Iron Chef, as per usual.

"Hey Jake," they tumbled into the house and the three of them started for the kitchen.

Embry looked troubled. "Leah was crying," he stated.

"Yep," said Jake.

"You made her cry?"

"Effectively."

"Dude," said Quil.

He sighed and sat in one of the kitchen chairs. They both just watched him. Jake sighed again.

"Well come on then," said Quil, "stand up and let's see it."

"What?"

"Your new asshole; she must have ripped you a new one right?"

Jake snorted. "This time I hit dead on without even realizing. She didn't say a word."

Embry raised an eyebrow.

"She actually thought the imprint would fade when Sam stopped phasing," Jake explained.

"Fuck, why would she think that?" Embry was incredulous.

"Yeah," agreed Jake, "as if she could think the Sam she knew and loved would leave Emily."

"Not a chance in Hell after he ruined her face," put in Quil.

"Not a chance after she had made a life with him. And the baby is just an extra. He would _never_ leave her, with or without the baby." Embry shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder what the hell is wrong with Leah."

"Yeah I mean I started getting dumped in… what… kindergarten? Didn't do me any harm," Quil argued.

Jake and Embry just looked at him.

"Okay…maybe I am not the best example…but you know what I mean. People get their hearts broken every day and they get over it. Why is she so bound and determined to hang onto this? Even Jake here got over Bella."

"Hey!"

"Eventually…" added Quil.

"Right…that is it! Speaking of new assholes, Quil," he threatened.

"Yeah?" Quil gave him the universal gesture of 'come over here and say that', "Bring it Black."

Jake threw himself out of the chair and tackled Quil. Chairs went flying; Embry sat up on the kitchen counter out of the way with his legs tucked up under him.

At that precise moment Billy Black wheeled into the house with Old Quil.

"I am having a flashback," quipped Billy, "its yesterday… no wait…. they're six years old…no…"

Embry chuckled, "We were just talking about kindergarten."

By this time, Jake had got Quil in a headlock and Quil palmed the floor in a signal of defeat.

Jake got to his feet and did his Rocky imitation. His knuckles almost brushed the ceiling he was so tall these days. "Still the champion," he crowed. "I am going to take a shower. We still on for clubbing guys?"

"Yep," they chorused.

* * *

Leah ran out of the Black home and dashed the tears from her cheeks. Unfortunately she almost ran into Quil and Embry. They could see she was crying and they could probably smell it anyway. She just kept running.

Oh if only she could do that; just keep running. If only she could escape from it all.

She jogged to her favourite clearing in the forest. On patrol she had found dozens of beautiful secret places like this one. She crossed her legs and sat down with a thump. She hated crying. So why was she doing so much of it these days?

Jake had really hurt her; mostly because she knew deep in her heart that he was right. She** had** clung to some bizarre hope that she would get back 'her Sam'; and she had, he didn't phase anymore but he was still with Emily and now they were having a baby.

That hurt even more because she doubted her ability to have a child anymore. Not something she had ever even thought about until the choice was taken away from her. She never wanted kids, but to be told you couldn't have them? That made her feel old; dried up and old. She was a freak; a menopausal 21 year old.

It was like some cosmic joke. You have extreme strength, a long life, an ability to heal and no reason to do so. In the legends Taha Aki had three wives; probably because he lived so freaking long. He must have watched his first wife wither and die and then gone out and got another one. And then he must have done it again. And again.

She had thought it might all be temporary. But she couldn't even retire herself; stop phasing, because that would leave her with nothing at all. _That_ she really didn't think she could handle. And what if nothing went back to the way it was?

She tore at the leaves with her fingers and wiped more tears from her cheeks.

Imprinting; she hated it! Paul had ignored his imprint for months and had continued to behave like the rez man whore he was and bed anyone that offered; until Bella had approached _him_. But Sam, the alleged leader and strongest of them all had bedded Emily within a day of meeting her. He had been engaged to her and he had never even tried to fight it. If Paul could do it, why hadn't Sam tried?

She had spent two weeks rushing around in a panic because she thought he was dead or dying somewhere; she was so worried about him. She didn't know he had phased, turned into a wolf and couldn't turn back again. And then he comes out of the forest and imprints on Emily and her whole life is destroyed; all her plans for the future, just gone…

And once they knew about imprinting the council had done some more research. You didn't need to be the sexual partner of your imprint; you would be whatever _they _needed you to be. So she had to come to the obvious conclusion that Emily had needed to bed Sam; her best friend's fiancé. It was a double betrayal.

If Emily had said 'no', Sam as the perfect imprint partner would have taken 'no' for an answer. If Emily had_ really _been her best friend, she would never have fucked Sam.

She hated them both.

FF_2154210_ - 16/11/2010 01:06:00 AM


	2. Actions and consequences

**Chapter 2 actions and consequences**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

* * *

The boys were at their usual night clubbing hangout in Port Angeles; the music was loud, the place was pumping. Three girls had already propositioned Jake, but he was sitting in the booth alone. His heart was not in it tonight. The last girl had been almost insistent. He had resisted the urge to tell her to have some self respect, after the second time she tried to get him to go home with her. He sighed again. Fuck, he was doing a lot of that these days.

Embry threw himself down next to him on the bench.

"Where's your date?" Jake asked him.

"Bathroom," he nodded towards the corridor. "You still stressing about Leah?"

"Yeah." Jake fiddled with his empty beer bottle, and then he reached into his pocket and passed Embry the Rabbit keys. "Look, I will dump my clothes in the car and run home. Drop it back tomorrow or whenever. I just need some fresh air."

"Sure thing Jake." Embry clapped him on the shoulder. "We'll see you tomorrow. That pushy girl was too much for you, eh?"

Jake looked towards the exit and planned his escape. Being so tall made him very easily spotted in a crowd. It was nigh on impossible for him to hide. He had a wild desire to just do a football run to the exit, palming everyone out of the way. He was in a mood, it really was a good idea to just head home.

He had almost made it to the exit when somebody grabbed his arm. With a sinking feeling he just knew it was the insistent one.

"Where are you off to?" she asked and when he didn't answer her, she tried, "Want some company?" She was clinging to his arm. He wondered how the heck Paul had put up with this for so long when he was the resident man whore. He supposed he had just never said 'no'. He peeled her fingers off his arm.

"No thanks." He was polite but insistent, but then she grabbed for his groin. He found it interesting that if _he_ had done something like that to her, she would be screaming for security to throw him out. He shook his head; now was really not the time to solve society's double standards. He lost it; he grabbed her by the top of her arms and lifted her up to his face. "I said 'no thanks'," he insisted. He placed her back on her feet. She stood in shock, just staring up at him. "For the last time, I said 'no'!" He made sure he said it now loudly enough for her friend to hear him.

The friend gave him a glance and he turned and made it to the exit unimpeded. Outside he gulped in the fresh air. What the fuck was wrong with him today?

He made his way back to where he had parked the Rabbit. He opened the trunk and found a spare pair of cut-offs and the tie to strap them around his leg. With a quick glance around the parking lot to make sure no one was watching him, he started to strip his clothes off. He slipped the cut-offs on, bundled up his other clothes and put them in the trunk and shut the lid. One of these days he really needed to clean out the car.

He rolled his shoulders and loped off towards home. The only question was whether he went via Oregon.*

Leah ran in the back door of her home; "home" that was a fucking misnomer if ever she had heard one. If patricide was the word for killing your father, what was the word for the place where you caused the death of your father; patricidion, patricic? The scene of the crime? Poor Harry Clearwater. He was a tribal council member. He was so knowledgeable in the ways and traditions of the pack and the tribe. And he was so shocked by the sight of his only daughter phasing into the big bad wolf of their fairy stories, that he had a heart attack.

Surprise!

"Leah?" she heard Seth call from his room as she made her way upstairs.

She sighed. She loved her little brother. Truth be told, she adored him. She would beat the living crap out of anything and anyone that would hurt him, except her of course.

His head stuck out the doorway to his room. "You okay?" he asked solicitously.

She nodded.

"Mum put aside some dinner for you. It's in the fridge in a container."

"Thanks Seth. I'm not hungry. I'm just going to shower and go to bed early."

"Hey, can I eat it then?"

She gave him a small smile. "Sure, you can eat it."

"Excellent. Good night," he tossed over his shoulder as he ran for the stairs and the fridge.

Leah headed for her room. She pulled out the rock she had brought from the clearing and placed it on her windowsill next to the beautiful eagle feather she had found one day. Each time she found a place where she felt calmer and more clearheaded, she tried to bring a little piece of it back with her. She had a rock from the beach, the one from the clearing today and some more from her secret places scattered around her room. She thought she might get seven of them; seven was a magical number.

Jake was eating his cereal at the table in the morning when the squad car pulled up in front of the house.

"Dad," he called out. "Charlie's here for you."

Billy wheeled out. "Charlie? He didn't say he was coming over."

They were both looking quizzical when Charlie knocked and then wandered into the kitchen. He had his hat in his hand and looked embarrassed.

"Charlie? What's wrong?" Billy asked.

"Ahh…" He rubbed his fingers over his moustache. "I need to ask Jake to come down to the station."

Billy and Jake looked at each other.

"There's ahhh… been a complaint made against him and I need him to make a statement."

"Sure Charlie, let me get some proper clothes on and I will come down with you."

Billy followed him to his room and asked with his eyes what was going on. Jake shrugged and shook his head. He honestly had no idea. He squeezed Billy's hand and went with Charlie.

At the station, Charlie showed him into one of the interrogation rooms and asked him if he wanted a coffee.

He came back with it and sat down across the desk from him with a coffee of his own. Charlie's was in a novelty mug Bella had given him. It said _"I see guilty people."_

Jake waited. Charlie was a lot like his dad, sometimes it was best to just wait for them to get around to what they wanted to say.

Charlie took another sip from his coffee, cleared his throat and spoke, "A complaint has been made against you by Miriam Haines. She alleges that you assaulted her last night at her home."

Jake looked confused. "I'm sorry I don't know the name. Do you have a photo of her? Maybe I know the face."

A deputy came in and leant against the wall, he watched Jake with something close to loathing on his face. He was behind Charlie and he couldn't see him.

"I don't have a photo, but she is about 5ft6, short dark brown hair, I guess she's about twenty two. She says you went home together from the club last night. Perhaps if you could just tell us what you did do last night."

Jake glanced at the deputy; he suspected he ought to be more formal just in case. "I was at Castaways club in Port Angeles last night with Quil Ateara and Embry Call. I didn't feel like nightclubbing so I left early; I guess it was about 11, maybe 11:30."

"So you **were** in the club," confirmed Charlie.

"Yes," agreed Jake. Charlie gave him a look. He knew Jake was under 21.

"Who did you leave with?"

"I left alone."

"Alone? Can anyone confirm that?"

"Yeah I spoke to a girl just as I left." Jake suddenly put two and two together. Fuck, she _was _pretty pissed with him. "Part of the reason I left was because there was this girl who just wouldn't leave me alone. She tried twice to get me to go home with her; I refused. Then as I was leaving she asked me a third time. I'll admit I was pretty irritated with her by then. I told her 'no' again. But she…" He blushed. "She grabbed me by the balls."

Charlie just looked at him but the deputy snorted; it sounded derisive.

"Why is this relevant?" asked Charlie.

Jake sighed. "She fits the description of your… what do I call her? Complainant?"

"Can anyone confirm this?"

Jake thought about it, "Embry can confirm she was pretty insistent, and her friend saw the incident at the door. She was blond and slightly taller than the dark haired girl."

"How do you know they were friends?"

"I saw them together earlier, when she first approached me."

"I did grab her on the top of her arms, Sherriff, and it might have been a little hard but she had me by the balls. I told her 'no' again and then I left."

"Then you drove home?"

"No, I left the car for Quil and Embry."

"Did you go to her apartment?"

"No."

"Did you see her outside of the club?"

"No."

"Hang on," interrupted the deputy. "So how did you get home?"

Jake looked at him and could only tell the truth. "I ran."

"Ran?" he snorted again. "It's 70 miles from Port Angeles to La Push."

Jake just shrugged.

"Jesus Charlie, you can't believe this little shit," the deputy appealed to Charlie. He looked Jake over. "You know what they are like," he added.

Charlie pushed a writing pad towards him. "Would you mind writing what you have just told us into a statement?"

Jake just nodded.

"Deputy," Charlie gestured to the door. "A word?"

The door closed behind them. Jake breathed out and started writing.

8888888888888

Leah was at home randomly surfing the net. Amazing how you started clicking on things and ended up a million miles, or a million sites from where you started.

She didn't really know what she was doing; looking for answers? On the Net? And she called herself Native American. She snorted at herself.

Hey, maybe that was it. How did her ancestors find their answers? She wished she had paid more attention to all the stories and legends sometimes. Not that it would have been any warning for her; no one knew _she_ was going to phase. She was so sure her future lay in the real world she had deliberately stayed away from her history. And then Sam phased and then she did too; karmic payback was a bitch.

She did some research and discovered a heap of nifty sites about vision quests. Even Wikipedia had something.

_In many Native American groups, the vision quest is a turning point in life taken before puberty to find oneself and the intended spiritual and life direction. When an older child is ready, he or she will go on a personal, spiritual quest alone in the wilderness, often in conjunction with a period __of __fasting._

Well that sounded exactly like what she was looking for; but how did she do it? She already spent hours in the wilderness on patrol. Hadn't helped her so far. Maybe it was Quil stalking her and trying to see her naked that put her off.

Maybe this would work? Couldn't hurt to try right?

She needed seven stones and an eagle feather. Spooky; she already pretty much had that. She looked around and counted her stones; only six.

She felt energised; she had a quest. Sure, sure, it sounded dumb, but for fuck's sake, she turned into a wolf! How freaky was that? At least it would get her out of the house for a couple of hours, while she found the perfect stone. Maybe a shell from the beach would be a good idea too.

She jogged eagerly out of the house and headed for the beach. Then she remembered that she had followed Jake one day when he was mooning around and being sad because Bella wouldn't come across. He and Bella had always sat by this big driftwood tree on the beach and held hands and had meaningful talks. But that was all before she started jumping Paul's bones.

He had continued to come here on his own; looking for something she supposed, just like the way she looked for peace in her secret spots. Jake had got over Bella so it made a kind of sense to her that her last rock should come from there. If he could do it, so could she. She dug around in the pebbles at the base of the tree until she found a stone that caught her eye. It had reddish flecks in it.

As she stood she noticed a clump of hair caught on a rough patch on the tree trunk. She pulled it off and held it to her nose; wolf hair, specifically Jake's wolf hair. It was the same red as the flakes in her stone. He must have come here in wolf form too and recently. Maybe he wasn't over Bella?

She took both things home to add to her collection.

[*AN: I changed that from Canada, just for Holly Mc. She goes nuts about people running via Canada. Wolves catching the ferry? Too funny.]]

FF_2154210_1132316661 - 29/01/2012 9:51:00 AM


	3. Bunny boiler

**Chapter 3 bunny boiler**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

There were no windows in the interview room and Jake was not sure he was allowed to leave yet. He just sat and waited patiently, he had faith in Charlie to do the right thing. He was very glad his future was not in the hands of the deputy.

The door opened and Charlie came in. He looked at the pad, pointed at the base of the last page. "Signature and date."

Jake signed it. Charlie took the pad from the table and left again without a word.

Jake thought about asking for a lawyer but he hadn't been charged with anything, so he just waited.

Charlie came back in and told him he was free to go. Jake asked if he could phone Embry to come collect him. The deputy made a comment about him being tired and couldn't he run back to his tepee from here. Jake and Charlie exchanged a look.

Jake made his call and asked Embry to collect him from the diner.

When he got outside he breathed more easily. He walked to the diner and sat on one of the seats outside and waited.

Embry drove past, parked in the car park and jogged over to him.

"What the fuck?"

"Did Charlie call you?"

"Yeah, he asked me what happened at the club last night. I could only tell him up until you left. I never saw you leave." Embry looked at him. "Jake what is going on?"

"I think that girl from last night tried to have me charged with something."

"Shit! The one you refused? She went all fatal attraction on you?"

"Guess so," Jake rubbed his face, "Maybe I should lay off the nightclubbing for a while."

"Yeah and protect your bunny."

Jake laughed. He needed a laugh. He put his arm around Embry's shoulder. "Take me home Embry, take me home."

* * *

When he got home he had a shower; he felt dirty. He assumed that Charlie would contact him somehow to let him know unofficially what was going on. He filled his Dad in with as much information as he knew himself.

Jake didn't have a job but he took in mechanical work for money. He was the cheapest and best mechanic in the area. It also allowed him to work whatever hours suited him. He was hoping to pool his money with Embry and Quil and maybe open a proper garage one day. He remembered telling Bella all about his plans for the future that day when he still had hopes for her being in his future too.

It was the only plan they had at the moment. Being in the pack meant their future would have to include staying near La Push.

It was early evening when Billy shouted out to him from the house. Bella was on the phone for him.

"Hey, Bells."

"Are you free, can you come over now?"

"Sure sure."

"Just so as you know, Charlie is here too. He said to tell you that but I have no idea why."

"Okay, no, I understand. I'll see you soon. Hey does that include dinner?" he asked eagerly.

"Only for you," she promised.

He eagerly made his way over to Paul and Bella's. His dad headed off somewhere else. He could smell dinner from the road. He let himself in and found them all in the kitchen. People often sat in the kitchen while Bella cooked.

Charlie actually leapt to his feet when Jake entered. He reached out and shook his hand.

"I wanted to apologise for that mess today."

"It's okay Charlie, it wasn't your fault."

"What the hell is going on?" Bella demanded.

"I got taken in for questioning," Jake explained, "in the patrol car and everything."

Bella looked at Charlie. "Dad?" He shook his head.

"Bunny boiler," explained Jake. Paul winced.

"A what?" Bella looked confused. "I don't understand."

"Jeez woman," Paul said, "I love you, but you have got to get more up to date pop culture references."

"What?" said Bella.

"Fatal Attraction?" Paul tried. No light dawned. He rolled his eyes. "It's a movie where this guy has an affair with a woman and she goes all psycho on him. In one scene she boils the family's pet rabbit on the stove."

"Eww," said Bella.

"I refused someone at the club and she complained… to the police," Jake finished.

Bella glared at Charlie.

"Look I didn't believe it," he argued, "but it had to be investigated. As it was none of her story matched up with anybody else's. I have no idea why she thought she could get away with it." But then he squared his shoulders. "And besides, young man, what were you doing in licensed premises at that hour of the evening when you are underage?"

"Attracting the attention of the wrong kind of women?" Jake suggested.

"Humph," said Charlie.

"So what was the clincher?" asked Paul. "What proved Jake was telling the truth?"

"Oh, the car. She said they drove to her place in the Rabbit but Jake left the keys with Embry and," he paused for emphasis, "_ran home_."

"Jeez you have to lose that car, Jake," Paul argued.

Charlie was looking confused as to why nobody had questioned Jake's ability to run 70 miles in a night.

"Besides which, you are so tall now it looks like one of those little red clown cars when you get out of it. You look ridiculous, man. No wonder she remembered the car."

"Yeah I know. I just can't afford anything else right now."

"Sell it and stick with the motorbike."

"The guys use it too, you know. Are you going to be lending them the red truck when they want to go clubbing?"

"Hey, that would work. Throw a mattress in the back and you would be good to go," Paul suggested.

"Eww," said Bella again, "No one is having sex in the back of my truck." Paul gave her a look and she jerked her head at Charlie and frowned at him. He just grinned. "Everybody go and wash your hands while I serve dinner," she instructed.

During the meal, Charlie commented, "well at least one good thing has come out of all this," he paused, "That deputy is on the forced transfer list; he is gone. I don't want someone like that in this area. He could cause far more problems than he would solve."

"His behaviour today gave me enough reason to get him out of here, but," he shrugged, "Now I am down a man."

"What…?" asked Bella.

"He is a bigot and a racist and to top it all off, he is an idiot," Charlie explained.

"Sam," Jake cut in.

"Excuse me?" asked Charlie.

"Sam Uley," Jake looked at Paul. "He'd be perfect! He is smart, strong, he does **not** take shit from anybody, but he has this amazing sense of self control. He is eternally patient and he would be your instant community liaison officer."

Charlie looked thoughtful. "You know that would work. Do you think he would take the job?"

"Ask him," from Paul, "you never know until you ask."

They continued eating.

"It's your fault she has no pop culture references, Charlie," Paul pointed out.

"Oh no, her mother is responsible for that. I took care of the sports statistics training." He sounded pleased with himself.

"What?" argued Paul, "She knows NOTHING about sports!"

"Hey! Sitting right here," from Bella.

* * *

Later when Charlie had gone, Paul and Jake had a discussion over the washing up about just how useful it would be to have a wolf in the police force.

"Imagine," crowed Paul, "He'd be first on any gruesome murder scene; he'd still be able to scent vamps so he could tell instantly if it was an 'animal attack' or not as the press is always fond of referring to them as..."

"Yeah," Jake agreed," he could smell vamp before the scene got all trodden over by everybody else; plus with the tracking skills he has learnt…"

"Will he take it?" asked Paul "I mean policing is a dangerous job."

"Compared to being a werewolf and fighting vampires; piss easy. And if he keeps even a fraction of his strength and speed he is going to be strong and fast enough to stay out of trouble…"

"Or take trouble down before it hurts him."

"And he gets to wear a uniform," put in Bella in a dreamy voice. The boys had almost forgotten she was at the table reading a manuscript.

Paul's eyes narrowed. "Humph," he said.

She caught his look. "It's genetic," she blustered, "my father is a cop…"

"Eww," said Jake and Paul.

FF_2154210_ - 17/11/2010 03:18:00 AM


	4. Rituals

**Chapter 4 rituals**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

Leah had come to a halt; she had all the bits required for her vision quest but she didn't know what to do now. She was supposed to wander off alone and be isolated, but as if the pack would ever let her do that. They would scent track her and drag her back within hours. So forget that. Sensory deprivation? She couldn't build an igloo or lock herself in the shed, for the same reason. It all sounded a little too much like Altered States; that movie where the guy had his weird trip in the cave.

She read through the site again. Tobacco was also a necessary ingredient. She was supposed to puff away on a yucky old pipe? Not in my vision quest, she thought. No thank you.

She rubbed her eyes. She was tired, she had finished her patrol and she knew Jacob wanted to hold a full pack meeting later. Maybe she would have a nap.

Before she slept she went around her room and touched each item she had collected with her fingertips. She brushed softly across the eagle feather. The wolf hair she felt the strangest urge to hold in her hand. She picked it up and closed her fingers over it. She lay down on her bed and covered herself with her blanket. If she woke up in a ball of sweat at least she wouldn't oversleep. She thought about setting an alarm just in case, but rejected it; it was just a quick nap.

With her head on the pillow, she lifted her hand to her nose and inhaled the musky wolf scent of her alpha. She closed her eyes and fell asleep.

* * *

Jake was frustrated. The other night when he went nightclubbing and came home alone was actually a rare one for him. He was regretting it now. All those years he had mooned after Bella, he had no idea what he was missing.

Paul was right on that one too, getting laid was the best thing that had ever happened to him; … so far.

But where did it leave him? He really enjoyed sex, but he was getting a little antsy with the casual sex side. There was no love; no commitment. Sure it was fun but it didn't serve to fill any of the gaps inside him. Something was missing.

Some days he felt like a big piece of Swiss cheese, riddled with holes left by the death of his mother, the departure of his sisters and the loss of Bella Swan. She was still in his life; he just couldn't live without her, and he still loved her. But he was sometimes as jealous of Bella and Paul as Leah was of Sam and Emily.

Would imprinting fix the way he felt? He was not so sure he would ever have the chance. That day Paul had come to speak to him after their fight, he had heard him talking to his father first.

"_I don't think the alpha should imprint. How can he look after the best interests of the tribe if he is holding his girl's hand?"_

_Billy makes a humph noise. "I agree. But that means you have taken the woman he loves from him and he doesn't have a possible imprint as a consolation."_

He hadn't let Paul know that he had heard them talking. At the time he was not in much of a mood to make Paul's life easier; he had just stolen his girl. But it had taken a lot of guts for Paul to come and face him. He had always admired that.

He had thought about that conversation a lot and he had to agree. When Sam was the temporary Alpha, he had let his feelings for Emily and Leah affect his leadership. He **had** treated Leah differently and she knew it. He had also tried to protect her; keep her out of serious fights. Jake suspected that Emily would have been first in Sam's thoughts if the tribe was attacked, just as Leah was first in them within the pack. You could argue that by protecting Emily, he protected the whole tribe, but he didn't think he believed that as an argument.

So was he_ ever _going to imprint? He was so certain when he phased that it would be Bella. And then to find out that she had already been earmarked by the Gods as the mate for Paul; it had damn near broken his heart. Paul had imprinted on her _months_ before Jake had even phased.

So the Gods knew better than his own heart? Was that what they were trying to tell him? That no matter how much it hurt, she was not the right mate for him? So who was?

* * *

Seth intruded into the patrol meeting with panicked thoughts so chaotic nobody could tell what was wrong. Jake alpha ordered everyone to shut up.

_J: Seth? What's wrong? Is it vamps?_

_S: no no … it's Leah_

_J: is she hurt?_

_S: I can't tell_

_J: what? That doesn't make sense. Where is she?_

_S: she's at home in bed…_

_J: So…?_

_S: I can't wake her up…she won't wake up _And then his mind became a jangled memory of his father dying and Leah and how panicked he was to be left alone.

_J: I'm on my way. Where's your Mum?_

_S: at Charlie's_

_J: ok you phase back and hold her hand until I get there. Seth? SETH?_

_S: yeah yeah I got it_

He could feel Seth leave the conversation. The rest of the pack stood silently waiting for his orders.

_J: let's break this up for tonight guys. Get an early night. We will skip patrols just for tonight. I will let people know what is happening as soon as__** I**__ know, okay?_

As he ran Jake wondered what the hell was going on. He hoped Seth had the sense to call the medic, too. Probably not, he had sounded so panicked. Funny how he was all grown up physically, but emotionally he was still a mess. Having Leah as your sister would be sure to screw a kid up and having your Dad die of a heart attack because your sister turns into a wolf in front of him? Yeah, one mega shitload of guilt and blame there.

Jake concentrated on running. There was no way he could solve all the Clearwater problems today. He had already reached the forest at the back of their house. He phased and threw his cut-offs on and ran out of the forest and towards the house.

"Seth?" he called out as he came through the back door.

He heard a reply from upstairs down the hallway. He got to the doorway and looked. Leah was in bed; her eyes tightly closed and her short hair mussed around her face. She looked fine; just asleep.

"She just won't wake up," Seth's voice sounded as small as he felt. "You try," he suggested.

Jake reached out and felt her bare shoulder. "Leah," he called and gave her a little shake. He put his hand at the back of her neck. Everyone always felt your temperature on your forehead, but having lived with an invalid for a very long time, Jake knew the back of the neck was a better place to feel a temperature.

"She's cool," he commented. "She doesn't feel nearly warm enough." He looked at Seth. "Do you have a thermometer?"

He nodded and left the room. Jake looked down at her. What the fuck was going on?

He just watched her until Seth came back. They measured her temperature. Luckily Sue being a nurse, it was one of those nifty ear ones and didn't take long. It beeped. 104 degrees.

"Shit," what does that mean? "She should be 108."

Give me a sec," Jake instructed. He headed for the phone and called the medical centre. The new medical centre had made a huge difference to the community. Almost no one knew the money had come from the Cullens, not all of it, but enough to make it a better facility than a tribe of 400 people normally had. If it was guilt money, Jake didn't care.

Recently the tribal council had advertised for a doctor and had got a medic. He was not as qualified in some areas as they had hoped, but he came with an extra experience they sorely needed. He had some experience of shifters from his own people. Charles Eastman had come from the Tsimshian, people who live around Terrace and Prince Rupert on the North Coast of British Columbia.

**[AN: no idea if the Tsimshian have a history of shifters but they do have ****a ****Laxgibuu; Wolf Clan**** - Charles Eastman was the first Native American to train as a Western doctor. Seemed appropriate for a name****]**

And he was a member of their wolf clan. He didn't shift himself, but there was a lot he knew about it; the side effects, the animal behaviours, the healing speed. He had replaced Carlisle Cullen as their medic of choice. It worked for him, too. He loved to have a pack who got down and dirty often enough to keep him busy. He had been in La Push a whole month so he was still on the steep learning curve, but Jake really liked him.

So Jake phoned Charles; his job had come with a house. It was a bonus for the weird hours he had to work.

He could tell just from the way he spoke, that he had woken him up. "Hey Charles, sorry to disturb you, we've got something weird going on."

He could hear him move in the bed, "No Jake, its fine. I put the phone on divert. What's the problem?"

"It's Leah; she's asleep and she won't wake up."

"No obvious injuries; a bump on the head or bites?"

"Bites? Shit, I didn't think about that."

"Well you've woken me up now anyway, I will be right over."

"Sorry Charles," Jake apologized. "We're at the Clearwater's."

"No big… part of the job." he yawned. "I'll see you in ten." And he hung up.

FF_2154210_ - 18/11/2010 12:09:00 PM


	5. Sleeping Beauty

**Chapter 5 sleeping beauty**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

Jake put the phone down and went back to the bedroom. Seth was still holding her hand. He supposed he had told him to do that. She stirred and her eyes fluttered but she didn't wake up.

"It's like she is dreaming and she can't wake up. Fuck, that is the worst nightmare. Or maybe the worst one is where you think you woke up and you are still dreaming. Those are freaky."

"You have a lot of dreams Seth?"

"Yeah used to. These days it is mostly hunting things or running. I hadn't actually thought about that. But I dream_ less_ human now. Does that make sense?"

"No, I get it. I guess I do that, too." Jake paused, "How long has she been asleep, do you know?"

"She went to bed when she got home from her patrol. Mum couldn't wake her before she left; she just thought she was worn out. So she told me to keep an eye on her. I did my patrol. I came back and I knew you wanted her at the pack meeting. So I tried to wake her up then…but…" he shook his head.

"So that's at least eight hours already; maybe longer."

Jake leant against the door frame and Seth crouched by the bed. They waited for Charles and hopefully some answers.

They heard a voice call out and the door closing.

"We're in here," Jake called.

A tall slender man with dark hair, thinning on the top, came down the hall. He was probably just shy of six feet tall. He had the russet skin like the Quileute but his face was much thinner. Charles greeted Jake and glanced towards his new patient.

"She's been asleep for at least eight hours, maybe longer. Sue is not here so Seth was on patrol and tried to wake her for the meeting," Jake filled him in.

"Did you check for bites while I was on the way?"

"Ahh no," Jake almost blushed.

"Okay then," he grinned at them, "Let me have a look and I will call you back in when I have finished. Go have a drink or something to eat."

Charles was always on them to eat and drink properly.

Jake and Seth stood in the kitchen and looked at each other. Seth grabbed an apple out of the fruit bowl and tossed it at Jake, then took one for himself. Jake bit into it and chewed with determination. They had finished the apples by the time Charles returned.

He looked worried. "No bites; not even a scratch. She is clean. Seth, has she been really unhappy lately?"

Seth snorted.

"Sorry," Charles agreed, "Dumb question."

"She is always angry, but she has seemed to be a bit weird lately," Jake suggested.

"Weird how?"

"Almost like she is constantly PMSing. Don't you think Seth?"

Seth shook his head. "No I think she is just extra shitty with you. At least she has been since you became Alpha or …I dunno, but it seemed to start about six months ago. Maybe just before then."

Jake had stepped up to Alpha five months ago. But he had gotten laid six months ago. Why would that make a difference to Leah? Oh yeah… he had started dating to cover up the smell. And he had seemed to have got over Bella. He remembered discussing it with Paul that night.

" _I am taking a girl to the movies on Saturday night."_

_Paul gives me one of those boy punches in the shoulder. "Way to go__,__ Jakey boy."_

"_You know you might be right, Leah was there when Stacey rang back and she got really weird for a while."_

"_Yeah? She's probably just pissed that you are moving on from Bella. I reckon she was hoping you would stay as sad and lonely as she is. So you could be a club. I mean Sam and Emily imprinting was fucking years ago now and she is still wallowing. I get that it is hard for her to have it shoved in her face all the time, but it's not like they could help it."_

"I started dating. I got over Bella and she was still sulking about Sam," he surmised for Charles and Seth.

"Wow ... you think?" Seth was sarcastic.

"So she might feel she couldn't talk to you about it anymore?" suggested Charles.

"Fuck's sake Charles, are you a shrink too?"

He laughed. "No but I had a lot of sisters."

"Yeah that'll do it." Jake smiled at the thought of his sisters. "So what do we do?"

"First off we need to move her to somewhere else. Shifting her may wake her up. A different environment may wake her too. It looks like she has built a circle of stones around herself; she has the required seven stones of a vision quest. If we move her out of that circle, she will have to be watched just in case. Also she needs more than one person to watch over her. Any suggestions?"

"Paul and Bella's," stated Jake.

"Okay. So let's move her."

"I can carry her there," said Jake. "But first, what do you think it is? You mentioned something about stones?"

"I suspect she is on a vision quest. I mean, you have told me that she is the least happy about her position as a wolf and the changes that phasing forced into her life. She has a blanket, a circle of stones and an eagle feather is on her side table. She is clutching what looks like wolf hair in her hand. If she was looking for answers she might have put herself into a vision quest to find them."

Jake sighed, "She lost her fiancé to her cousin who was also her best friend. So she lost her best friend as well. Then she phases, gives her father a heart attack that results in his death. She is the only female wolf and she believes she is infertile; she doesn't menstruate." He noticed Seth cringe at the mention of 'girl' things. "So she feels as if she has lost her femininity as well. Plus, add all the other stuff that we _all_ have. We can't leave the tribe. Whatever life plans we had are no longer possible…blah blah blah."

"Plus, she has to share her head with her little brother and who wants to do that," he said with a grin at Seth.

Jake sighed again and rubbed his face with his hands. "But the real kicker for** her** is she gets to see inside Sam's head and to see just how much he loves and adores his imprint. And Sam in his guilt, tries to remember good times with Leah and involuntarily flashes us all moments they would **both **probably prefer remained private. It's a clusterfuck."

"Plus she doesn't date," said Seth. "She has no chance of moving on, because she never dates."

Jake spoke, "The pack scares guys off. Most of the gossip is how she must be 'doing' all of us, because she is always with us and she is the only girl who is always with us. Makes it doubly hard for her. Guys won't go near that… well at least, not guys she would _want_ to date. So the pack protects her, but it also stops **any** guys getting through. And Sam doesn't even realize, but he scares the pack boys away from her too. He still loves her and he wants to protect her."

Jake pulled himself together, "Well, now we've aired every piece of Leah Clearwater's dirty laundry for you Charles. Does it help?"

"No," he sighed "But that is an awful lot for a young woman to deal with. It makes it completely understandable why she would literally time herself out. Usually people stay conscious; Leah has just done it a little differently." He shrugged.

"Yeah I suppose that is what she has done. She can't physically run away, so she has done it mentally. Huh." Jake stood and cracked his shoulders. "Well let's get her moving."

"Seth, call Paul and tell him we are on the way."

"Can you carry her that far?" Charles asked.

Jake just laughed. "She ain't heavy Charles, she's my pack sister." He took a close look at Charles; he looked tired. "Look, you should go home and sleep. There is nothing you can do, right?"

"No, she is stuck until she finishes the quest; they can take days. She will come back to her body when she wants to."

"Do you want me to call you if there is any big change?"

"Definitely, if her body temperature drops any more. Keep her warm. That's all the advice I have," he shrugged. "I kind of swaddled her up in the blanket so she would stay warm."

Seth interrupted. "The pack is all at Paul's anyway watching a movie, but he said the guest room is good to go."

"Cool, let's go get our sleeping beauty."

She looked like a gigantic papoose all swaddled up in her blanket. Jake slid her across to the edge of the bed. He slid one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and scooped her up easily into his arms. He cradled her against his chest. Her head tilted back. Seth helped arrange her so that her head leant forward against Jake's shoulder, with her face pressed into his neck.

She made some small noises, but didn't wake up.

Seth followed him and moved her head forward again if it fell back. Neck strain was something else she didn't need.

Jake moved at a loping stride. It jostled her less if he ran like that. It took them no time at all to reach Paul's. Bella was waiting on the veranda.

"What is it Jake?"

"We don't know. I will explain inside. Is the whole pack here?"

"Yeah, pretty much. You know what they are like." She held the door open for him. "Take her to the guest room."

The room fell silent as he made his way carefully down the hall. He placed Leah in the centre of the bed and rubbed his fingertips across her cheek.

He sighed heavily and headed back to explain to the pack. But when he straightened up, he realized they had all quietly made their way into the room. Except for Sam. He must have gone straight home after the meeting. He told them everything they knew.

"Charles said there is nothing else he can do. He said it is a lot like a vision or spirit quest. She is not in her body and she will come back to her body only when her spirit wants to." Jake's words fell like stones in water.

"Shit," from Quil. "She hates this body. Why would she come back to it?"

Everyone looked serious.

Jacob had to break this up. There was too much sadness in the air. He could barely breathe himself. "Everyone out and give her some room to breathe," he ordered.

Seth, Paul and Bella stayed and looked at him. It was their house and Seth was her brother, he couldn't throw any of them out and he needed their help to look after her.

"What are you going to do?" asked Seth. He had an unshakable faith in his Alpha; Jake always worked things out.

"I don't know." His voice carried all the weight of his indecision. Jake ran his hand through his hair and stretched his spine out, he felt damaged; wounded. He looked at her as she lay broken on the bed. "I don't know what to do," he repeated.

"Can I stay with her?" asked Bella, "You go eat some popcorn, watch the movie and take a break Jake." She hugged him. "Can you do that for me?"

"Sure, sure, Bells," he promised. He hugged her back. "Keep her wrapped up and give a yell if her temperature drops any more. I'll be back in an hour or so." He threw his arm around Seth's shoulder and dragged him off too. "Come on Seth, what is the movie we are to be entertained by?"

"Underworld!" the boys chorused from the living room.

"Fuck…again!"

"Oh, come on, dude, Kate Beckinsale is hot!" Quil exclaimed.

Embry cackled, "I can just imagine what would happen to you, if she appeared in front of you. You would be so busy drooling; she would just kick your ass."

"Hey, as long as she is wearing those boots while she does it, I would die a happy man." He sounded as if he would be, too. "And maybe that leather bustier."

"Quil, is that drool?" asked Jake as he threw himself on the floor. The pack habit was to vacate the best seat for the Alpha, but he convinced them he didn't need little shows of authority like that; he wanted obedience and respect when it really counted.

FF_2154210_ - 19/11/2010 03:08:00 AM


	6. Stupid quest

**Chapter 6 stupid quest**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

Leah was not happy. This had to be the stupidest vision quest ever. All she was doing was wandering around in an endless forest she didn't recognize. She was a wolf for fuck's sake; she didn't get lost… ever.

This was ridiculous. She was inadequately dressed; just one of her usual t-shirt dresses. She couldn't even 'vision quest' herself decent clothes. A flowing green velvet gown with balloon sleeves; something appropriate for a dream. She snorted; that wasn't really her either, now was it? Maybe some jeans and a comfy pair of hiking boots? But no, she is wearing one of her functional dresses.

It seemed to be getting darker or else her sight was fading. It was dark and cold and she just wanted to sit down and cry. This was a stupid idea and now she was literally stuck in it.

She didn't know how to get out of this.

She sat on the ground and felt sorry for herself for a few minutes. Then she felt like someone had hugged her. She felt as if someone had held her to their chest. She sniffed; it was instinctive. It smelt like Jacob. It couldn't be Jacob; she must be able to smell his fur that she was clutching in her hand.

She looked at her hand. She uncurled her fingers and looked at her hand; her palm was empty.

Some small spark within her smouldered. She was Leah Fucking Clearwater. She did not give up over stupid things like this. Right? RIGHT?

She squared her shoulders. She stayed sitting on the ground, walking just got her more confused right now.

First off: what the fuck did she want from this 'quest'?

Answers? Help?

Okay that was obvious.

What were the questions?

That was the trickier bit.

* * *

The boys watched the movie and ate a major pile of popcorn and chips. Charles had tried to make them eat more healthy food but they argued their metabolisms protected them. Plus it was a pleasure and they were young.

Jake stared at the screen but took none of it in; his mind was elsewhere.

The movie finished and he sent them all off home to sleep in their own beds. They did have a tendency to hang together. He needed some space, too. He rang his Dad and checked in with him. They had installed a phone next to his bed as Jake's pack duties had gotten more time hungry. Jake filled him in on the Leah situation. Billy sounded serious, but confident that Jake could sort it out. He was okay and had put himself to bed. He said he would ask Sue to check in on him in the morning.

Jake rang off and wondered, not for the first time, what he would do with his Dad. He needed more full time care, but they just couldn't afford it. He needed to come up with some solution that would allow him to have more people around him, without booting the man out of his own home.

Jake sighed and rubbed his eyes. He looked up at Bella's scrutiny. "Are you okay?" she asked.

He smiled at her, but it was a tiny smile, "Yeah…just tired… you know?" He was still lying on his back on the carpet and he patted the floor next to him, "You could join me?" he flirted.

"Nu-uh," she said, but she grinned at him. He tried the puppy dog eyes. She waved her finger at him in a no gesture.

But then Jake rocketed to his feet at a panicked call from Seth and ran to the bedroom.

"She's cold …she's really cold," he was seriously panicking now.

"Bath" said Bella. "Get her into a hot bath." She headed for the en-suite as Paul's head stuck in the door. The water started running.

"Problem?" asked Paul.

"Body temperature is dropping."

"Come on boys, move," Bella ordered. They all looked at each other. Leah had everyone so cowed, no one was game to touch her. "She will need to be unwrapped for a start." Bella looked at them all, then she rolled her eyes. "Jake help me, everyone else get out!"

"You too, Paul," as he tried to linger.

"Oh baby…"

"OUT!"

"This is my big chance…" he whined as she shut the door on him.

Jake had to smile at Paul's antics. He never did bed Leah; he had always seemed proud of that but maybe he thought he had missed out on something. He looked back at Leah.

"Come on Jake, not you too," said Bella.

"Oh I am **so **hoping she wakes up and smacks me. That would actually make me happy."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," sighed Bella. She was un-mummifying Leah as she spoke.

She was only wearing a pair of panties under the blanket; Charles must have stripped her to see if she had any bites or scratches. Jake scooped her up again and headed for the bathroom. Bella tested the water and Jake lowered her gently into it. They left her panties on. Jake kept his arm under her back to stop her face slipping into the water. Bella wet a towel and laid it across Leah's chest.

"It probably doesn't help, but it makes me feel better," she said.

"Funny, none of us usually care about being naked. But once Leah is around we all get self conscious. She doesn't think she is a woman and none of us can see her as anything else." He sat on the floor next to the bath.

Bella gave him a look as she perched on the edge of the bath.

"She gave up on bras a while ago, too expensive to keep tearing apart." He rolled his eyes at the look Bella gave him. "I'm human, I noticed. Same as us with shoes."

"What does she have clutched in her hand?" Bella asked. She pulled her fingers open and exposed a damp clump of reddish hair.

Jake recognized it. "It's my wolf hair. Charles said she had some 'totems' for the quest; some stones, an eagle feather and wolf hair. I don't know why she used my hair; I just assumed it was hers."

Bella looked worried. "Does she need it?"

"I don't know; guess if I stay with her she'll have me instead."

Bella smiled at him.

They kept her in the bath until her temperature went up a little. They had to keep topping up the water. Jake's back was aching from leaning over the tub, but he refused to let anyone else hold her. When she was stable, they dried her off. Even rubbing her with the towel didn't wake her.

He gingerly placed her back in the middle of the bed and covered her with the blankets and tucked her in. Her wet panties were hung in the bathroom to dry.

"Come and have something to eat," Bella tugged him out of the room. "Let Paul watch her now." He went with her; he was too tired to argue. His tiredness reached through to his bones. It wasn't a physical tiredness, more like an exhaustion of the spirit. He still didn't know what to do. Some Alpha he was if he couldn't even work out how to help a member of his own pack.

Bella almost pushed him into a kitchen chair. She got Paul to move into the room with Leah, he basically sleepwalked past them. It was the middle of the night, Jake couldn't blame him. The pack was like soldiers anyway; they took their sleep where they could find it. They could sleep on the ground in the forest with no trouble at all.

Bella made him oatmeal. It was hot and filled his stomach. He was almost sleepwalking himself by the time he finished it. Bella tugged him towards her bedroom. He started to protest, "Just to sleep," she told him. For all his flirting with Bella, he knew he was no longer welcome as her sexual partner.

He fell on top of the bed; Bella slid under the sheets. Jake could smell Paul's scent in the warm pillow. Bella slid her arms around him; he breathed out a big gust of air and he closed his eyes.

FF_2154210_ - 20/11/2010 12:38:00 PM


	7. What was the question?

**Chapter 7 what was the question?**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

So Leah had lots of answers but what were the questions?

What did she want?

She breathed out and she tried to collect all the thoughts that had been rushing around in her head over the last few weeks.

_**She wanted a home.**_ She had a house, a place where she lived and where her stuff was stored, but it wasn't a 'home'. Her own house didn't feel like a home anymore; it just felt like the place where her father died.

_**She wanted a purpose.**_ She was a werewolf; it was a calling not a job. College was out now, so what could she do to earn money? She was an adult and she did not have a job. She didn't contribute to the household expenses. She and Seth literally ate her mother out of house and home. She hadn't ever thought about it before, but the grocery bill alone must be an absolute fortune. No one else had two wolves in the house. And add in the cost of clothes. Sure they almost wore rags, but initially, she and Seth had such poor self control; they had torn apart most of their wardrobe. That shit was expensive. And the shoes? In Seth's size? Jesus.

_**She wanted to be free of anger**_**.** She hated Sam and Emily. And she was making herself sick with it. She could see that. Sure they betrayed her, but it was years ago and she needed to get over it. But she just didn't know** how**. The anger kept her warm; it kept her alive. There were so many times when she could have just given up. It wasn't healthy, but that anger had sustained her.

When she stopped to think about it, another very small voice spoke up. Leah wanted a family of her own. She wanted a life partner and just maybe if she was really honest with herself, she wanted to have kids one day.

_**So she wants her own family.**_Ouch! That actually hurt to admit it. She was so jealous of what Sam and Emily were building together. They were having a childtogether. She had never thought of it like that before. A _child_; a little person who would have bits of each of them. What if it was a girl with Sam's quiet intensity or a boy with Emily's joy in life? Or the other way around.

And while she was dealing with stuff that really hurt, she thought of something else she wanted.

_**She wanted to be free of the guilt of killing her father.**_

She phased; he had a heart attack; he died. It was a linear progression in her mind. It was her fault.

She sat there for a while and ran through all of that in her head.

She felt better. This shit was weird.

So she had made a start on sorting her head out, but she was still cold and tired; she was so bone weary tired.

She remembered a bit of stuff from survival training. She got to her feet and started ripping branches off the pine trees. Fuck the bad karma she might accumulate from killing a few branches in this dream world, it was _her_ dream and they were _her_ dream trees anyway. Bad karma my ass, she swore to herself.

She made herself a little nest out of the torn branches in a hollow on the forest floor. She wrapped herself in a few other branches and shivered.

She slept.

* * *

When Jake opened his eyes he was alone in the bed. He rolled over and stretched out his legs. He needed to go for a run or something. He always got edgy when he didn't get any exercise.

When he got to the kitchen, he saw Bella working on a laptop at the kitchen table. He leant in the doorway, "Hey," he said.

"Hey yourself. Did you sleep okay?" she pointed towards the bench. "Help yourself; the coffee's on."

"How is she?" Leah was front and centre in his thoughts.

"Still the same."

"Fuck." He poured himself a coffee; he would probably need it.

"Paul said she seemed quieter last night; maybe the bath settled her somehow." She shut the laptop. "This is pointless. I can't even concentrate on this awful manuscript and it is not good enough to read the same page five times. That is a particular torture I _do not_ need to go through."

She held her mug out to Jake for a refill. "Charles said he would drop in later and check her vitals or whatever the medical speak is."

"Fuck, I forgot my dad!" Jake sat with a thump.

"He's okay. Sue called to say he is fine, so you don't have to worry."

"Fuck, I hate this!" He hit the table with his hand. Bella jumped. "Fuck!" He realized he had frightened her and he tried to get himself back under control. "I HATE this…I mean if it was something attacking her I could kill it… you know…but this… this metaphysical shit. I can't _help her_."

Bella's eyes looked tortured. "I know Jake, I know."

There was silence for a minute. "Did you want to eat?" Bella asked him.

"I'll grab some cereal if you don't mind… oh and thanks for the oatmeal at dawn or whenever it was."

She smiled, "My pleasure."

He helped himself to cereal. He spent so much time here these days, he knew where everything was. Besides, he knew Bella Swan better than anybody, and she always set up her kitchen the same way in every house she lived in. He could swear that she could move house and he could put his hand on the coffee mugs or the cereal bowls with no mistakes. It was actually one of the things he loved about her; her predictability within certain parameters. It was the reason he could say without hesitation that Bella's house was where to bring Leah. Be able to help a friend and her door was wide open. Need a shoulder to cry on or someone to talk to, and she was right there. Leah was barely even her friend but the door was open to her simply because Jake had asked it of Bella.

He must have been staring at her because she gave him an odd look. "What's the matter?"

"I love you," he said.

"Yeah I know," she told him back without hesitation. "I love you, too."

They were still staring at each other when Paul walked in. He just looked at the two of them and helped himself to coffee. "I just let Charles in. He's checking Leah and he will be out in a minute I suppose." He sipped his coffee and gave them another look.

"Are you two okay? You both look kind of serious."

Bella inhaled audibly. "Jake is just wishing he could kill whatever is hurting Leah."

"Yeah maybe… but generally the only thing that hurts Leah is… Leah," said Paul sagely.

Charles entered just in time to hear what Paul had said. "Ain't that the truth," he agreed. "She is still out. Paul couldn't tell me what happened last night."

"Hey," he complained, "When I sleep… I sleep."

Bella grinned at him; she knew that wasn't strictly true.

Jake smiled. "Her temperature dropped, we put her in a hot bath and after an hour or so it came back up. Then we put her back to bed. I know you said to call you Charles, but you seemed so tired the other day and the bath worked."

"She didn't seem to move at all when I slept with her," put in Paul. "She appeared calmer somehow."

"You slept with her?" Charles queried.

"Hey! _Next to_ her. I was _not _sleeping on the floor when there was a big old half empty bed right there." He looked offended at the accusation. Bella giggled at him. He leant over and gave her a big smacking kiss on the lips. "I have prime rib at home… I don't do cheap takeout anymore." He paused. "Not that I was implying Leah is cheap; she's more like too zesty. That woman would be stomach ulcer inducing to me."

Jake just shook his head. Charles looked confused.

In a desperate attempt to change the subject, Jake said "Where's Seth?"

Bella answered him. "He headed home to check in with Sue and to eat out his own fridge I assume. He said he would be back later this afternoon." She frowned, "It's odd, but he doesn't seem particularly worried about her. He had his little panic attack and then he handed it off to you, Jake. I guess it is that Teflon thing Seth has, where he firmly believes it will all work out, and usually it does for him. He's unsinkable." She shrugged, "Sometimes I wish I was the same way, but I am just not wired like that."

"No, me either," said Jake.

"I am now," Paul put in, "everything in my life is working out just fine." He looked inordinately pleased with himself. "Now we just have to get Leah back in the here and now."

"Easier said than done," Charles commented. "She is just not responding. Her pupillary light reflex is diminished too."

Everyone looked blank.

"Sorry," said Charles, "if you shine a light in her eyes, the pupil contracts. It is an automatic response. She is not reacting at a normal speed; it is very slow almost like a patient on barbiturates or some other kind of depressant drug. I mean, if I didn't have such faith that it is a vision quest, I might be booking her into the hospital. I am not sure how much longer she can go without a catheter or a drip to keep her fluids up."

"Should we do that?" asked Jake.

Charles sighed. "Look… give her another twenty four hours and then I will seriously consider it. Sue for one, doesn't need to lose another member of her family."

Jake got to his feet. "Thanks Charles, we will look after her now."

He left the kitchen and went to check her out for himself. As he left he heard Bella say, "He didn't eat nearly enough for Jake."

"Yeah, I know, baby," agreed Paul.

Back in the bedroom Jake sat cross legged on the floor next to the bed. He held Leah's hand and he talked to her. He rubbed over the back of her knuckles with his fingers and he talked to her. He reminded her of all the stupid pranks she and Quil had played on each other over the years. He reminded her of the slumber parties with his sisters Rachel and Rebecca. How they would sit around for hours reading teen magazines, painting each others nails and braiding their hair. He reminded her of that time they had done all of that to him and his father had just smiled at him. He didn't mean to, but he told her how sad he was that she had cut her hair off. He had loved her hair. How sad he had been that her phasing had ultimately led to her own father's death. He told her that he would never have wished that on her.

And he also told her that she was the best beta in his pack. She was the finest scent tracker. She had the greatest head for strategy. She knew the lay of their land better than anybody. She made up for her smaller size with speed. He told her how much he depended upon her. She was reliable, tenacious and she never gave up.

So he was not going to give up on her now. He promised her that he would not leave her now.

She didn't seem to react to anything; not even an eyelash flutter.

He leant his forehead against the side of the bed and for the first time in a very long time; he prayed.

FF_2154210_ - 21/11/2010 03:08:00 AM


	8. My own personal Yoda

**Chapter 8 my own personal Yoda**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for beating_

**AN: some readers have commented that the vision quest sounds like a great idea for us all. There are seriously dozens of pages on the net about his kind of stuff. I think the first step to getting what you want, is knowing what it is that you want; sorting out your own 'to do' list, as it were**

And Leah heard him. She had woken in her little nest feeling warmer. But she knew she could not stay there. That would be giving up and she didn't do that. So she stood, brushed herself off and started walking again. She walked for hours, still lost in the endless forest.

But then she had heard Jacob's voice.

She knew it was Jake's voice but she couldn't tell where it was coming from or what he was saying. She walked around in a circle until she was back where she had started. This endless forest was getting seriously irritating. Then she closed her eyes and concentrated on his voice. She took a couple of steps; then another and then she turned and took a tentative pace out. She felt that this was the right way to go; towards his voice.

She had taken maybe ten paces when she felt confident enough to open her eyes. The dreamscape had changed. It was more familiar. She knew where she was now. She was on James Island.

The Quileute called it Akalat the 'top of the rock'. It used to be connected to the mainland until the US army corps of engineers had messed with the Quillayute River.

But it was significant to the tribe; it was the burial place for the tribal chiefs. It was also significant because until the second half of the 1800s, the island was the site of a fortified village; it was the site for their warriors.

She wondered that it was Jake's voice that had led her here. Here to the place he might be buried if he fulfilled his destiny. She had a notion; she thought she had no destiny and Jake thought he had too much.

Was that it? Was she supposed to help Jake carry some of his burden? She could do that; she was already his beta. But what else could she do?

She heard something in the forest ahead of her and instinctively froze. She crouched low; readying herself to run. But she didn't feel threatened.

She saw glimpses of movement through the trees; wolves. They were running together. They almost looked like they were playing. It was a female and her cubs; they looked under two years old. Still young and playful but respectful of what must surely be their mother. There were other, older wolves but no other females.

She sat carefully on the ground and watched them; they didn't seem to be aware of her but she was cautious just in case. They played together. There was one that reminded her of Seth and another that was just so like Quil it was eerie. They seemed to be waiting for something.

The female's ears twitched and she stood, straining towards the forest. And here he was; her alpha male. He was carrying a dead hare in his mouth and he dropped it reverently at her feet. The pups tried to take it and she snapped at them. You go girl, thought Leah. The male and female greeted each other; rubbing their faces together and scenting each other. She licked his face and he mouthed her muzzle in an almost affectionate gesture.

Then they both turned and stared right at her, as if they had known she was there the whole time. She just stared back at them. They didn't blink.

"This?" she queried, "This is my message? My answer? Be a good little wolf wife?" she rolled her eyes. "You have got to be kidding me," she snorted. She sat and watched the family feed. When all the pups were fed, they all stood and raced off into the amorphous forest on the edge of her vision.

* * *

Jake felt better after he had asked any Gods that were listening to help Leah. Sometimes he thought praying was just like sorting out your wish list in your head. You had to think about stuff before you knew what to pray for, right?

He went to the bathroom and washed his face and took a long hard look at himself in the mirror. He sighed; again, he was getting really sick of doing that.

It was another day, he had things to do.

He checked in with Bella in the kitchen.

"Are you home today?"

"I can be," she said. "Do you want me to stay with her? Paul can do some errands for me but I do need to buy groceries. He is hopeless at that," she rolled her eyes, "He never sticks to the list. Fills up the shopping cart with stuff he feels like eating at the time."

Jake chuckled. "I can imagine that. She'll be fine with him, when you need to shop." He drank some more coffee just to stay near Bella for a little bit longer.

"I need to do a patrol, check on my dad and I have heaps of work to do on a couple of mechanic jobs. Do you mind if I phone in and check on her occasionally?"

Bella beamed at him. She stood up and reached for him. "Give me a hug," she instructed.

He did; his long arms wrapped around and lifted her off the ground in his trademark Jake special hug. He could breathe easier now.

She kissed him gently with affection. "She'll snap out of it soon. I am sure of it." she kissed him again. "We will look after her for you Jake."

He jogged back home but hugging Bella made him realize something; he really missed her. He sighed. Fuck; again?

* * *

It was dark now and Leah caught sight of a fire burning in the distance. It has to be for her right? It's _her_ dream. She makes her way through the trees. She is drawn to the fire both for light and warmth, and also for comfort.

She had been trying to listen to herself; trying to let her intuitive 'body-energy' awareness guide her. She made herself a rule: 'don't hang around in places that don't feel right: do hang around in places that do feel right.' It seemed to be working okay so far.

But she is not prepared for the sight that awaits her as she approaches the fire. A man is poking it with a stick. It is not until he turns around that she recognizes her father. She had honestly not expected it to be him. She is torn; she is desperate to run and hug him but she is not sure if that is against the rules. Is there a book? Miss Manners for dream etiquette?

She manages to speak, "Dad." It is only one word, but it holds all her heartbreak.

He looks as torn as she. "We cannot touch," he explains.

She shrugs. "I thought that might be the case."

"But, oh it does my heart good to see you," he tells her. "Please sit." He gestures at a log pulled up by the fire. "You must be thirsty." He hands her a water bottle. Their fingers almost touch.

"Are you my Yoda?" she asks him and is gratified to hear his familiar chuckle.

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." He chuckles again. "Did I get that right?"

She smiled. "Sounded good to me."

"So youngling," he continued, "Why are you here?"

She tried to think it through. "I've been so angry," she admitted.

Harry watched her. She got the impression that he was there to make it easier for her to talk, but he was not going to put words in her mouth. She had been mulling over this for some time and now it all seemed to come together.

"Jake made me his beta. He's the Alpha wolf now; the leader of the pack. Sam and Emily are expecting a child and I just cannot find it in myself to be happy for them. I am so angry with them. I don't know what do with myself. All I have is the pack and it is not enough."

"I'm_ lost_," she almost wailed.

She looked into the fire; she couldn't stand to see the profound sympathy in her father's eyes.

She sighed. "Deep inside me is a big pool of anger; anger and," she paused, "...guilt."

He didn't respond.

"I killed you," she confessed.

"Oh, Leah," he breathed. "I never looked after myself, you know that… your mother was always on my back to eat more healthy food and to exercise properly and I didn't do it. I was a stupid man who won't see his grandchildren because I didn't listen to the woman who loves me. I left my two children at the time they needed me the most and I will never forgive myself for that." His voice caught in his throat.

"_But it is not your fault_. I had a ticking bomb in my chest and it could have gone off at any time. Please don't blame yourself. Please don't make me carry that too," he begged her.

"What do you mean?"

"If you can't forgive yourself, how will I ever forgive myself?" he asked her. "If you let this guilt ruin your life, that is an extra burden** I **would have to carry and it is too heavy."

She nodded.

"I think I understand."

They sat companionably for a while. Harry poked the fire again.

Leah smiled. He never could leave a fire alone; always had to be poking it or putting extra fuel on. No wonder her mother had rarely let him barbecue. It was a wonder he hadn't burnt the house down.

"What?" he queried.

"I was just thinking that you were more likely to burn yourself to death than have a heart attack."

His face didn't react and then he erupted with a sharp bark of laughter. They laughed together for ages.

He wiped at his eyes. "Oh, I needed that," he told her. "You take a nap and I will guard you while you sleep and keep the fire stoked." His eyes twinkled mischievously.

"Will you be here when I wake?"

He just shook his head. "But I will always be with you; you know that."

"I love you Dad."

"I love you Leah," he replied.

She settled herself on the ground and closed her eyes. She felt safe and warm and something inside her loosened just the tiniest bit.

FF_2154210_ - 22/11/2010 12:36:00 PM


	9. Puppy pile

**Chapter 9 puppy pile**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

Jake's day passed pretty quickly. Amazing how you could be busy all day and not be able to say in any detail what you did with all that time. He did get a good start on a couple of mechanical jobs that he had been avoiding. Add it to the list of burdens he carried; people didn't like being without their cars for too long; especially around the north west where everything was so far apart. He kept phoning Bella to check on sleeping beauty. No change.

He and his dad ate dinner together, pizza again, as Jake had forgotten to shop. It was really not healthy for either of them but was marginally better than starving.

He filled Billy in on the sleep thing with Leah.

"Do you think she meant to do it?" Billy asked.

"I think so; she has been so lost lately… Emily being pregnant is just the last straw for her... you know?"

"She has gone about it an interesting way but it is a traditional approach to solve problems and if it works for her," he shrugged, "it will be worth it."

"Yeah I guess. I am just so worried about her and I feel so helpless. I can't help her; I can't kill it."

"Jacob, I am sure you are doing everything you can to help her. You always have the best interests of the pack at heart."

"But is this pack business?" Jake asked.

Neither had an answer to that.

Jake spoke, "I feel guilty. I had got _really_ tired of her and her constant whining. She was malicious Dad; she could be really nasty. She picked at Embry about his father; I mean … Embry. And he wouldn't hurt a fly. I know I was unsympathetic; the whole pack was. It got to the stage where Sam was the only one who still liked her. But now," he paused, "…now I understand her a little better. After Bella and Paul, I completely understand her issues. I have to see in Paul's head too, just like she sees in Sam's."

His father just watched him; his eyes were sympathetic.

Jake got to his feet. "Do you need help to get to bed?"

"No thanks, I'm good." Billy wheeled for his room. "Call me tomorrow and let me know if there is any change. I assume you are heading back there now?"

Jake nodded. "I'm really worried about her, Dad."

"I know son, I know."

He let the screen door slam behind him and jogged over to Bella's. Shit, he forgot to shower and get changed. Maybe his stink would wake her up? Smell worked on coma patients didn't it?

Bella greeted him and told him Leah was still in the guest room. "Seth's here too," she added, "he actually seems a little worried."

Jake stood in the doorway looking at her. She lay on her side. Her face looked so peaceful. Paul and Bella stood holding hands and watching him watch Leah. Seth was on the other side of the bed crouched down level with Leah's face. He was stroking her shoulder softly with his hand. He did look worried now, Bella was right.

"I'll leave you to baby sit." Bella squeezed his arm as she headed for the door. "She seems to rest easier when someone is near her or touching her," Bella noted. "Paul moved her to the lounge because he wanted to watch the game while I was shopping, and he said she seemed to rest much easier there with him and Quil."

Jake gave Paul a look.

"I kept her all wrapped," he protested, "no peeking, I promise." He crossed his heart. "I had to smack Quil a couple of times though."

"You are hopeless," muttered Jake.

"Hey, what if it is some weird shifter thing? You know, what if being near the pack helps her heal?" Paul looked excited. "Like the way puppies sleep in a pile?"

"That is a _great_ idea!" For the first time in hours Jake looked hopeful. "Seth," he ordered, "Get your shirt off and get into bed with her. Make sure you have got lots of skin contact."

Seth hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

"Dude, she's my sister." He said it like she had cooties.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Fine, I will stay too, as a chaperone for your sister."

"How does that help?"

"Well you don't want to stay here on your own and surely if one body works, two will be better? And you don't want it to be Paul, do you? "

Seth looked like he was thinking it over. "I suppose so," he finally admitted. "At least she would be less worried about you than anyone else."

"Now what is that supposed to mean?" Jake asked.

"Jeez man; nothing. Forget I said it."

Jake was already stripping down and he caught a glimpse of Paul's face. He smirked at him.

"Well," said Paul, "we will leave you love birds alone. You know, give you some privacy," he winked at Seth.

"You are one sick fuck," Seth told him.

He laughed as he left the room; his usual odd braying laugh. It was the first time he had heard anyone laugh in hours and Jake felt better because of it. Funny, Paul's laugh used to drive him crazy.

"You take the front half," he ordered.

Seth climbed into the bed and pushed his back up against Leah's front. She moved and muttered something they couldn't understand.

"This had better work," he threatened Jake. "If anyone finds out I slept with my sister, I'll never hear the end of it…" his muttering trailed off.

Jake laughed and lifted the sheet to climb in behind her. He caught a glimpse of her long naked body. He had forgotten she was naked. There was no way they could dress her now. He shrugged and hoped it **did** work and that she woke up well enough to beat the crap out of him.

He was taller than Seth, so he took the back. He didn't quite know where to put his arms. He could wrap the upper one around her, but the arm underneath was squashed under him and if he folded it across himself he lost skin contact with her. He sighed. He had already crossed so many of Leah's lines in the sand; he thought he could probably take this one, too. He slipped his arm under her head and folded it across her naked chest. She was tall enough that he could almost spoon her properly. Her head rested on his bicep. Her arms were folded across her stomach.

He could hear Seth's breathing flatten out; he was so exhausted he had fallen asleep almost immediately. He really wasn't as close as Jake had ordered but he could let it slide. He could smell them both and he hoped that Leah could smell Seth too.

Jake wrapped his other arm across her stomach and pulled her up against him. It felt really good. He had a hot flash of Paul and Bella in bed with him, and how they had all slept together. It had felt amazing; just like being in a big pile of puppies. Sometimes he thought those two were way more in touch with their shifter side than any of the other wolves.

He tried hard not to think about that, so he wasn't pushing an erection into Leah's back as well. That was one line she probably wouldn't let him cross.

Her body temperature was all wrong; she felt cold to him.

He felt Leah sigh in her sleep. He kissed the top of her head and tucked her into him firmly. His fingers interlocked with hers. He lay there for a while absentmindedly stroking the skin on her hip with his other hand. He had never seriously thought Paul was right about many things, but he had been surprising him lately. Maybe this was another one of those things.

Should he and Leah be together? Should they be partners; real partners? Jake and Leah. Leah and Jake. He tried it out in his head. It sounded good.

He closed his eyes, buried his face in her hair and fell asleep. Just as he blacked out, he thought he felt her squeeze his hand. He was too tired to do much more than squeeze back.

* * *

Leah woke. The fire had died down and her father was true to his word; he was gone. It felt like that quiet time just before dawn when the world seemed especially still.

She felt refreshed. For the first time in a long time she felt at peace with herself.

In a conscious parody of her father, she poked the fire but it was cold. She stood, stretched and tried to ease any cricks in her body. The water bottle was empty. She jogged on the spot for a minute to warm up. Then she heard something. It sounded like a drumbeat; a steady rhythmic drumbeat.

Following her rule of keeping with what felt right, she moved towards it.

She got a little confused at one point and lost the sound, but then she realised that she had to leave the island. Maybe she had got all the messages she would need from here? Time to move on.

It led her from the island. The island was magically rejoined to the mainland and she made her way through the rocks and along the low tide wet sands to the beach.

She kept following that sound. She knew that the beat was leading her back to La Push. Even though the island was connected as it had been in the past the rez was all present. It looked the way it always did.

The drumbeat led her past her house. She felt like she wanted to stop there but the beat led her on. Eventually she stopped with a frown outside Paul and Bella's house.

What the fuck? This wasn't her house.

The sun still wasn't up.

But it still felt right to be here, so she opened the door and went in. She had to close her eyes to concentrate on the sound's location inside the house, but then she headed unerringly for the guest room.

And she saw herself asleep on the bed with Jacob Black. They both looked mostly naked and Jacob was tucked in behind her with his long arms wrapped around her; he was spooning her. His face was buried in her hair. She fell back into her body with a jolt.

FF_2154210_ - - 23/11/2010 11:44:00 AM


	10. Sleeping it off

**Chapter 10 sleeping it off**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing_

"What the fuck, Black?"

Now that was bliss to his ears. He opened his eyes and glanced around. It was very late at night; maybe very early in the morning. That time just before dawn.

"Welcome back. Are you okay?"

"Back? Don't fuck with me Black."

"You've been ill." He tried to slide his arms from around her very slowly.

"So you thought you could take advantage?"

"No; it was a healing strategy."

"Well, that's a new one," she grumbled.

Jake looked over her shoulder, Seth was gone; coward. And Leah hadn't hit him yet. She must be ill. She seemed pretty shaky and she hadn't moved away from him.

"Where's Seth?" he asked.

"Seth? Ugh," she said.

"That's what _he_ said. You should stop talking."

"Why?"

"Your voice sounds all croaky. Are you thirsty, need the bathroom?"

She turned her upper body and he shuffled back a little. She frowned at him. "How long have I been out?"

Trust Leah to be so perceptive. "Two days... give or take."

"Two…? Jeez."

"Go to the bathroom, Leah."

"Sure, sure," she muttered. "No peeking."

"I've seen you before." Well he had; he probably shouldn't have reminded her though, given she was the naked one.

"This feels … different," she managed to say.

"Yeah, okay." He lay back and put his forearm across his eyes. "There you go, you're safe."

He heard her move. He peeked as she headed for the en-suite. Her back was bowed like she was 100 years old and she was hanging on to the wall. His heart clenched. She still looked pretty good though. He couldn't help having a look. He was only human.

She shut the door firmly behind her.

Jake was thinking Leah really couldn't be one hundred percent because she _still_ hadn't ripped his head off. He was lying there looking out the window when he heard the toilet flush and then there was a thump. He was out of the bed and in the bathroom at a freakish speed. She had passed out and fallen on the floor. He scooped her up and put her back in the centre of the bed. He checked her head for lumps and decided she must not have hit anything on the way down.

He filled a water bottle at the tap and took the opportunity to have a drink and use the toilet himself before he brought the water back for her. He climbed back into the bed and hugged her to his chest. He stroked her face.

Her eyelashes fluttered. Funny he had never noticed what amazing eyelashes she had before. This close they were like feather dusters. Her eyes opened and focused slowly on him.

"I fell down," she said.

He smiled at her. "Yeah, you did. Drink?" he offered her the bottle. She sucked it down. He took it away from her. "Not too much; little sips or you will make yourself sick."

"Why am I in bed with you again?"

"You fell down," he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes at him.

"I don't think you have finished healing," he told her.

"Healing?" She snorted. "At least you are not Quil."

"That's what Seth said you would say."

"Huh?"

"He said you would prefer it was me to anyone else."

"Humph. I don't know about that," she muttered.

"Go back to sleep, Leah." Her eyes were already blinking as if she was having trouble staying awake.

He was still lying on his back and she was facing him, tucked under his arm. She snuggled her face into the meat of his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I am only doing this because I am dying," she told him.

"Sure, sure." He almost kissed her forehead before he thought about it and stopped himself.

She snorted, but her thigh lifted over his lower body. He inhaled sharply and froze. She snuggled in closer to him, making little noises as she did so. He breathed out very slowly and tried desperately hard not to move. He wasn't sure if she was entirely awake. Maybe she thought she was dreaming or something. Whatever, he didn't want to startle her.

He lay there awkwardly until sleep finally overtook him.

* * *

He opened his eyes. He was lying face down onto the mattress. The pillow was long gone. He must have been sleeping on his own arm. He wriggled his fingers to get the feeling back. He felt so warm and he was having trouble inhaling properly. He blinked and realized Leah was lying on the top of his back; she was sound asleep. He could tell from her breathing pattern. She had her cheek resting on his shoulder blade. It was as if she had to get as close to him as she could. She felt very warm now. Her breasts were squashed against his middle back. Damn that felt good. He realised something else was squashed too. He had a huge erection that was luckily trapped between his body and the mattress.

He lay there and wondered how the hell he was going to get out of this one. And how he was going to hide the boner from hell from her. At least he still had his shorts on and that was more than he could say for her. He almost groaned at the thought of Leah with no clothes on, naked and lying along his whole body. Naked. Groan.

He heard the door open. His head was facing that way and he saw Paul's head duck inside. He smiled, then caught Jake's eye.

"Damn Black," he whispered. "That looks pretty fucking comfortable. But aren't you the wrong way around?"

"I can't move," Jake whispered back, "I'm stuck."

"Excellent," muttered Paul and disappeared. Jake groaned. Please god, he doesn't get a camera. But he had. Bella was with him this time.

"Oh, that is so sweet," she breathed.

Jake rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys! I sooo need a shower," he whispered intently.

Paul gave him a look. "And some private time?" He smirked at him.

Jake glared at him.

"Jeez Jake; morning wood, combined with a beautiful naked woman in bed with you? Am I right?"

Bella had approached the bed and she felt Leah's face. "She feels warmer now. I think it worked."

"She woke up, but fell during the night."

"Yeah I heard her fall," said Paul.

"I don't know how completely awake she was." Jake speaking must have vibrated through her face. She started to make small waking up noises. "She seemed pretty out of it. She didn't hit me."

"Positively out of character for Leah," chuckled Paul as he studied Jake's predicament.

"Here," Paul suggested, "I will lift her and you slide that way." He motioned towards the bathroom.

Jake glanced at Bella nervously.

"Seriously dude? She has seen it all before," Paul seemed unconcerned.

Bella laughed and backed away. "There you go, boys," she said. "I will go start breakfast. If she can smell coffee and bacon, it might help to wake her up."

Paul straddled the bodies on the bed and lifted Leah a little. Jake shuffled out to the side and Paul lowered her to the mattress. She made a kind of grizzle noise and rubbed her face on the sheet.

"Hmm; it's like she is smelling you. She will stay happy for a while. Go have your shower."

Jake watched, but Paul seemed to be right again. She settled down pretty quickly. Even Paul stepping off the mattress didn't seem to worry her.

"Weird," he headed for the shower. He glanced at Paul. "Sure Bella can't join me?"

Paul grinned at him; they enjoyed ribbing each other privately. Their secret had remained just that; secret. No one blinked when Jake and Bells had inappropriate public displays of affection; they had always been all over each other. Except for a period in the year after she and Paul got together, when Jake wasn't quite sure how he fitted into her life anymore. But Paul, special as he was in his own weird way, had levered Jake into their life and surprisingly, their bed.

Jake thought he would never forget those weeks of utter bliss. Paul was always trying to convince him to bed Leah, but he wasn't game. Given Paul's main argument was that they could have sex for days as they were both shifters; he was not sure his reasons were that valid. His boner ached so badly he thought bedding anything right now sounded like a good idea.

"She is missing all this," he gestured at himself.

"You wish," muttered Paul.

They grinned at each other. Yeah, he did wish.

He stepped into the bathroom and ran the shower. He jacked himself off, thinking about Bella and that amazing threesome. For a first sexual experience it was a pretty hard act to top.

It had given him the sexual confidence to match the body he possessed. He now had no trouble picking up girls when they hit the clubs. And he knew exactly what to do with them. But he still hadn't imprinted. The holy grail of the wolf pack seemed beyond him.

He had been picking up women so intensively; he had become a dating machine, if you could call it 'dating'. He rarely went out with the same woman twice. He had almost filled in Paul's old shoes with the women now Paul was no longer available. At least until the recent false complaint. The casual sex kept his physical needs met, but not his emotional ones. He watched Paul and Bella together and was insanely jealous.

He was looking for something; looking for what they had. And so far, he hadn't found it.

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel low around his hips. He thought he might borrow some of Paul's clothes. He was sick of wearing the same cut-offs. He had had them on for days now.

He opened the bathroom door in a cloud of steam with water dripping down his bare chest. He was drying his hair with a second smaller towel as he stepped out; his chest muscles bunching as his arm moved.

"Oh," he heard.

He looked up straight into Leah's wide eyes. They stared at each other.

"Hey," he said. "How do you feel?"

"Hot."

"What?"

"My body temperature is back to normal. I didn't realize how cold I was until it came back."

"Yeah." He smiled at her, "I know." Boy, did he know; she had been pasted onto him in her sleep. He rubbed his hair again. "Bella is cooking breakfast. Did you want a shower?"

She was still lying on her stomach and she was still naked.

"Clothes?" she asked.

"You won't fit in Bella's. Here," as he threw the wet towel at her, "I'll get some of Paul's clothes for us both while you have a shower."

As he left the room, he thought he heard her breathe out in a long slow gust.

He smirked to himself. Hey if you've got it; use it he thought.

FF_2154210_ - 24/11/2010 12:10:00 PM


	11. Revelations

**Chapter 11 revelations**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

**AN: just a reminder that this is part three of a continuing sequence of events from my other stories 'what was she doing?' and 'What was he thinking?' – so if you are feeling lost as to what happened or why people are behaving the way they are, maybe you need to read those as well – homework… look at that, I'm assigning homework... **

Leah had let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. When he threw the towel at her, she had thought for a second it might be the lower towel and just the thought had taken her breath away.

Jacob Black was spectacular.

When had Jake gotten so good looking? She knew he had grown a bit more when he stepped up to the Alpha but he had a smoking bod now. It was like the way a guy filled out in their mid 20's. He had actually grown with the Alpha mantle and his wolf had too. Human Jake was now 6ft 7 and wolf Jake was officially the biggest, strongest, fastest… you name it and Jacob Black was it. So when had he gotten to be the sexiest?

And if he was in proportion? Wow, that just didn't bear thinking about. She had always studiously avoided checking out the pack junk.

But it was the way he held himself now. Like he knew what he had and he knew what to do with it, as well. All kinds of confident was little Jacob Black now. When had that happened? She spent so much time and effort bitching and moaning about _her_ life, she hadn't noticed any changes in his.

Jake was a man.

She had heard the guys talking about clubbing, but she had not even thought that Jake would be getting any tail. And she had been so careful to keep herself physically distant from all the pack; she hadn't even smelt women on him. Or alternatively she had been such a bitch to them all, they had all avoided being near_ her_.

She had been especially bitchy to him because he had finally seemed to get over Bella. Even going out clubbing was a kind of betrayal to her. If Jake could get over it; then it made _her_ look worse. She was still clinging pathetically to her hope that Sam would stop phasing and go back to her. He had called her on it and he was right.

She was in the shower; she felt weak and shaky as if she really had walked all those miles in her dream, but she felt like she had some of her answers now. She would have to talk to Billy or old Quil about what the hell had happened.

Maybe; maybe she would just work it out herself. She voted for doing it herself; old men couldn't help her now; they hadn't bothered to help her before. She was an unexpected anomaly to them; a female shifter. The first in all the record books and they didn't know what to do with her.

And what the hell was she going to do with the information that she had slept with Jake? Slept in the true sense of the word, but she could not imagine the ribbing the pack would give her for that. And slept with her brother. Ugh.

She heard a tap on the door. "Leah? Clothes are on the bed. Come to breakfast when you are ready."

"Thanks Jake," she called back. She found her panties hanging on the towel rack.

Bella was cooking breakfast all right; she could smell it. She made her way slowly to the kitchen. She could hear their voices laughing and chatting and she could hear cooking noises; spoons and spatulas banging on saucepans. Bella's domain; the kitchen.

They all looked up when she stopped in the doorway. Jake was sitting with his arm around Bella's hips as she dished up bacon and eggs for him. Paul was leaning against the sink with a coffee mug in his hand.

They all seemed to be waiting for her. She took a deep breath and took that last step into the kitchen. Paul grabbed another mug out and poured some coffee for her. Jake pulled back the chair next to him and Bella plonked an empty plate in front of her and then heaped it up with food. The toaster popped and Paul threw it onto their plates.

She studied them all. They seemed extremely comfortable together. And then another realization came to her; these were her friends. They had looked after her when she was literally defenceless.

She was amazed she still had any; she had been such a bitch for so long.

"How do you feel?" asked Bella, when she eventually sat with her own plate of food. Paul placed a fresh coffee in front of her and kissed her and then sat himself.

"Shaky, but okay. I feel like I walked miles."

"You didn't fall again?" Jake spoke quickly; he sounded worried.

She shook her head. "No, no falling. But my legs feel weird; you know shaky."

"Hmm." He frowned at her. "Okay then."

Everyone was silent for a while, but it was a companionable silence while everyone ate. She picked at her food.

"I need to thank you guys for all looking after me. I mean I don't know what happened, I fell asleep at my house and I wake up here two days later."

She cleared her throat. "I guess you are all wondering what happened to me?"

"No," said Bella, "We know you went on a vision quest; or at least that is what we think you did. Charles worked that out. But whatever you learnt about yourself, it is your information to share or not. It's up to you."

"Oh." Leah hadn't expected that.

"But…" started Paul, but Bella frowned at him and he fell silent.

Jake was watching her and demolishing his breakfast.

"There is one thing I want to ask," she looked at Bella. "Would it be okay if I stayed here for another day or so?"

"Of course," said Paul, "you're welcome to stay as long as you need."

"It's just…"

"Don't worry about explaining…" Bella started.

"No," Leah interrupted, "I think that I need to explain." She took a deep breath; this shit was _hard._ "One of the things that I realized is that my house is not my home to me; it is where my father died and," her voice caught, "I know it was not my fault but I just can't…"

Bella rushed to her and hugged her hard. That actually felt good; no wonder Jake hugged her all the time. She didn't think Bella had ever hugged her before. Her voice was muffled in Bella's chest, "I saw my father; he told me it wasn't my fault and he told me I had to let it go, but it is so _hard_…"

Jake and Paul exchanged a look.

"Fuck Leah, didn't anyone tell you it wasn't your fault?" Paul asked.

"I don't remember. There was so much stuff going on. Seth and I had just phased …I mean that's what caused the heart attack… when I … and we only just managed to get ourselves human again for the funeral, remember? I didn't think Seth would make it through the whole thing; I was so worried about him."

"Oh Leah, you poor thing. I never knew you blamed yourself. It was a heart attack wasn't it? Surely it could have happened at anytime?"

"That's what **he **said," she sobbed. Paul had grabbed the tissue box from the living room and he placed it in front of her with a pat on her shoulder. "But it was the shock of seeing** me** phase… his face…" she ground to a halt.

Jake was still watching her. He reached across the corner of the table and squeezed her hand.

"I'm s… sorry," she sobbed.

"Oh for heaven's sake," scolded Bella. "You have to work through this; you have to get it all off your chest, otherwise you will make yourself sick." She hugged her again. "You stay as long as you need." She returned to her seat, but she looked worried.

Leah got herself back under control. She exhaled loudly. "One down," she said wiping at her face.

"Okay," agreed Jake, "what's next?"

She smiled at him. "Maybe later, I'm not sure I can do it all at once," she confessed.

"You should go see your Mum and Seth; they were both really worried about you."

"Seth bailed on the bed thing."

"Yeah he did, coward."

"Hey, is that Charlie's cruiser?" Paul interrupted.

Jake and Leah tilted their head to listen.

"Sounds like it," added Paul.

"Guess you'd know," joked Jake.

"Can't tell you how many times my super hearing saved my life," Paul chuckled with a leering glance at Bella.

She rolled her eyes; "Yeah, yeah Mr Irresistible."

The door banged and they heard Charlie call out. "Just a quick visit," he shouted. "Hey Leah, you're awake," he said as he entered the kitchen.

"Wicked detective skills there, Charlie," teased Paul with a twinkle in his eye.

"Watch it boy," Charlie told him as Bella handed him a coffee. He pulled up a chair, "I could still shoot you, you know. Don't give me a reason…"

"To what do we owe the pleasure of this early morning visit, Dad?"

"I popped out to talk to Sam Uley about that deputy job but he said no."

"Really? Why?" from Bella.

"Too dangerous he said. Reckon his woman… what's her name… Emily … might have had something to do with that. She wasn't pleased at the thought of him doing police work."

Paul snorted. Leah was looking confused. Jake thought to explain. "Charlie sacked a deputy and he was hoping to get Sam to replace him. He needs someone with better ties to the Native American community. I suggested Sam. I thought he would leap at the chance to have a solid job, but…" Jake shrugged.

Leah could not believe it. She had asked for a purpose and here it was on a freaking platter. It was also a paying job and one at which, she had no doubt she would excel.

"What about me?" she asked Charlie. "I could do it."

Everyone looked at her. Her chin lifted and she tried to look confident. Given she had been crying her heart out 5 minutes earlier; she looked pretty good; pretty together.

"Yes," breathed Bella, "**and** she is female. That is another one of your boxes ticked, Dad."

"How old are you Leah?"

"Twenty; nearly twenty one."

"You finished high school?"

"Yes."

"She got a scholarship," put in Jake, "but she couldn't take it up."

Leah looked at him. How did he know that? She had let that go when she got engaged; when the whole compass of her world was Sam Uley.

"Really?" said Charlie. He sounded impressed by that. He chuckled, "Sue will kill me."

"You'll be the most organised you have ever been in your life Charlie," Paul said.

Everyone glared at him.

"What? I meant it in a good way. The woman could organise a herd of cats." he waved airily in Leah's direction.

Jake's eyes twinkled; he knew what Paul meant.

Charlie gave her an assessing look. "We could start part time and see how we all go," he suggested. He stood and Leah did as well. He reached across and shook her hand. "Welcome aboard," he said. He kissed Bella, "I had better get back; at least my trip out wasn't wasted. See you guys later."

Leah sat back down and looked at Jake. "That's two," she said. He laughed.

"Ooh," said Paul, "you'll get to wear a uniform…"

"And carry handcuffs," added Jake.

"Humph," said Bella. "It's all 'ewww' when I say that about Sam, but its all sexy now it's Leah?"

The boys looked unapologetic.

Leah ducked her head, tried to eat her breakfast and stay out of this one.

FF_2154210_ - 25/11/2010 02:20:00 AM


	12. So not a checkout chick

**Chapter 12 so not a checkout chick**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Deputy Clearwater; damn that sounded good. Leah was very proud of herself. She had gone with Paul and Jake to fill her mother in on what had transpired with Charlie. She was a new Police Deputy. Sure she was part time but it was a start.

Her mother was not happy; not with her nor with Charlie. Leah asked her what job exactly she saw her doing, that would allow her to stay close to the rez and perform her other security duties; her furry ones. Sue had the grace to admit that she couldn't think of anything. Checkout chick Leah was most definitely not.

She also argued that the Council should be pleased. She, Paul and Jake had listed all the advantages to vampire hunting that her job would give the pack. She could be their inside man.

She understood; her mother was just worried about her.

"Mum, the possibility of a normal life is beyond me now. You know that. Plus my wolf skills give me more of an advantage that a normal female would not have in such a job as this. I can look after myself, Mum. You know that."

"Well I don't see why you can't live in your home while you do it," Sue grumbled.

Jake and Paul exchanged a look and left her to it. She pulled up a chair at the table. "You know I kind of timed myself out this week."

Sue nodded.

"I tried to think about the issues in my life and what I need to do to repair it. I cannot continue the way I was; it's not fair on anyone." She waited, but when Sue didn't speak she continued. "I blamed myself for Dad's heart attack." She held up her hands to stop her mother speaking. "I know… I know... it's not my fault; well I know that _now_." She looked into Sue's stricken face, "I just need some space away from the place where it happened. Maybe just a few days, I don't know." She paused, "Can you give me that, Mum?"

Her mother gave her a tremulous smile, "Of course, honey."

"Bella and Paul have been kind enough to offer me their guest room. Honestly Mum, I don't know how long it will take; I just know I need to do this."

Her mother reached across the table and squeezed her hand. "It's a great idea, Leah. And I am really proud of you for trying to sort this out and I am especially proud that you have chosen such a traditional way to do it."

"Regardless of anything," her mother continued, "you know that I am your mother first, and everything else comes later." And then she did that thing Leah had witnessed so many times and not actually thought through; her mother straightened her back and squared her shoulders. She could almost see her toss off any extraneous worries. They would probably come back later but right now, they were not on her 'to do' list.

She wondered if some of her strength and resilience may have come from her mother, she had not really thought about it before.

"Right, we need to pack you a bag," her mother ordered, and they did just that.

* * *

**AN: I read the Bureau of Labor stats page for police and a few other things – I am not American and I apologise for any mistakes I may have made in my story about police training – my excuse is, it's a small town and Charlie can do what he wants… right? Yeah, that'll work…**

She was measured for her uniform. In the meantime she managed to fit into a spare. Lucky it had a belt.

She needed firearms training. Charlie ran her through some exercises at the firing range and he was impressed with her arm strength. Holding a firearm in the ready position was tiring and most people tended to drop their arms after a minute or so, but Leah was as steady as a rock. He said he would send her to more advanced training if this all worked out. It felt weird to fire a gun and she knew it would probably not stop most vampires, but she could aim pretty well with her keen eyesight. She kind of looked forward to shooting it off in the line of duty.

For the moment Charlie couldn't imagine she would be doing anything more complex than a pile of paperwork, like all police, and serving a few warrants and civil orders on people. There wasn't even much call for traffic duties in Forks. Writing out fines for a broken taillight was about it.

The rez kids were particularly docile with her. She came with an aura of pack authority; she was Jacob Black's second in command and it radiated off her and they all recognized that. If they didn't know exactly what the pack did, they knew nobody argued with them. Sam had used the pack to scare off drug dealers and anyone else the council didn't want on the rez.

Charlie was extremely pleased.

She was given a thick folder of procedures to read; how to measure an accident scene; how to process evidence; how to adhere to all office policies and procedures. She was going to drown in a pile of paperwork before she ever got to see any action. Just remembering half the radio call signs was a pain. At least she might get to drive a patrol car one day.

One of her big duties was taking fingerprints. A record of a person's fingerprints was taken with each application for a Concealed Weapons Permits and some job applications required them too. She wondered at Sam's decision to turn the job down. She would have thought it was perfect for him. Oh well, his loss was her gain.

She stayed with Paul and Bella. Jake came over a lot, but then he always had spent a lot of time with Bella so she didn't think he was there to see her or anything. She watched them together and had a new appreciation for Paul. He let them go much further than most of the pack would have with their imprints. Bella sat on Jake's lap; they hugged each other all the time; especially those huge Jacob Black rib crusher hugs as Bella called them, and they kissed and flirted with each other.

In days of watching this she had never seen a single glimmer of jealousy from Paul.

She asked him one morning when it was just the two of them at the kitchen table.

"How can you cope with the way Bella and Jake act?"

"She always was a package deal," he said sagely, "Jake and Bells."

"But how can you…?" then she shook her head. "I'm sorry it's none of my business," she apologised.

"No; it's okay," Paul added. "You remember how I tried to deny the imprint and how well that worked out?"

She nodded.

"Well after we got together publically, Jake was a mess. He didn't know what to do with himself and I realised it was because he didn't have her in his life." He grinned at her, "Truth be told, she was almost as big a mess as he was; she just hid it better. Those two just** have** to be in each other's lives. They are best friends and they love each other; package deal." He shrugged.

He stood and refilled his coffee. He stayed standing as if he needed a little distance. "I suppose the imprint just wants me to make **her** happy and 'no Jake' makes her very unhappy. I couldn't stand it. We came to an arrangement that worked for us all." He shrugged again. "I trust them," he stated.

And then as if he couldn't stay serious for very long, he leered at her, "And a happy Bella makes a _very happy Paul_."

She laughed. "I know that; for fuck's sake. Could you guys keep it down sometimes?" She pointed at him, "And you weird me out referring to yourself in the third person, you know."

He laughed.

Then he added, "Hey I always wanted to ask you; what gave us away that time at the bonfire. You remember when you accused Bella of being up to something with me?"

"Fuck and you were, at that stage?"

"Well not quite, maybe later that night." He smirked and managed to look pleased with himself.

"You completely ignored each other."

"So?"

"No, I mean _completely_. I like watching people; I find it kind of interesting. But you two that night, looked like you were trying to avoid each other. You pass somebody something and you look at them or you smile or nod or something; say 'thanks' maybe. I can't explain it really well. Your eyes meet across the table; you laugh at their jokes… you know? So if two people don't do any of that, there has to be a reason for it."

Paul looked intrigued.

"There are only two options in my book; they hate each other or they are hiding a secret love; a romance, or I suppose they could just be fucking each other's brains out."

"I'd say one option," Paul suggested, "if you hate someone, you react to everything they say, in a bad way. Scrunch your face up and wince every time they speak."

"Yeah that works too," she laughed.

She gave him an assessing look. "You and Bella go well together. I'm kind of glad it worked out okay for you both."

"Thanks Leah, I appreciate that, and I'm glad you are trying not to be such a bitch."

She laughed.

FF_2154210_ - 26/11/2010 03:38:00 AM


	13. It's all my fault

Chapter 13 it's all my fault

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

A report came in about a missing hiker. Leah took the call from the guy's mother; she didn't sound particularly worried but she just wanted to let them know he was in the area. She rationalised that his phone battery had probably just gone dead. She just wanted to let the local police know that he had missed his appointed time to call in. As an experienced hiker, he had made a habit of phoning his mum or girlfriend to report in. He had been scheduled to contact them last night and had not done so. They hadn't heard from him for three days.

The last place he had been was on the edge of the Hoh River trail on the long walk up to Mount Olympus. She took down all the details and contact numbers for his family and a description. She asked his mother to email her a recent photo of him. She wrote down his cell number too, just in case they could use the built in GPS to triangulate his location.

She let Charlie know about the report but he said they really couldn't do anything for another 24 hrs. She had a bad gut feeling about it though.

She convinced Jake to check it out as part of the pack duties that night.

In her furry security uniform she, Seth, Jake and Paul loped along easily through the national park.

_S: I can smell hiker, male, but it is a couple of days old. Could it be him?_

_J: maybe. Let's spread out and check it out. Maintain contact._

_P: Seth and I will head to the west._

They found his campsite relatively quickly. It reeked of that sugar sweet vamp odour, but not as much of blood.

_S: there's no body. He wouldn't have left all his stuff unless he ran away._

_P: and didn't run back?_

_L: unless it happened just after he rang in to his mum; that would make it just over three days._

They all looked at each other. Three days was long enough for him to turn if he had been bitten and survived.

_J: everyone be vigilant. We know newborns are extremely strong and we could be dealing with one. So until we know otherwise, everyone be__** really **__careful._

It was her fault; she knew it was, but things were working out in her life and she was imbued with a new sense of confidence; maybe it was arrogance. She found him first and she was so sure she could handle him on her own. She had enough time to flash them all the image of the newborn vampire before he went for her at a speed she just didn't anticipate. She panicked. Jake was suddenly there and he shoved his large body between them, pushing her out of the way. But because Jake was pushing and not attacking, the newborn got a grip around Jake's body and she heard the sickening crack of multiple bones before Paul and Seth pulled the vamp away. He fought them for a couple of minutes but the two of them together were more experienced and he wasn't much of a fighter. They finished him quickly by tearing his head off.

Jake was badly hurt. She was horrified. She kept apologising until Paul barked at her that she was supposed to be second in command and she should act like it. That snapped her out of it.

Paul had taken to wearing a phone tied to his leg and he phased back and used it now to call Bella. He told her to call Charles Eastman. He gave her a quick summary of the damage. He left it to Charles to decide if he came in the truck or waited for them at the house. Bella didn't panic the way she had. Leah felt bad about that too.

Then he phoned Embry and Quil to bring the emergency first aid kit and the red truck with the mattress in the back. Jake had phased back and lay passed out on the ground. His arm and leg on the same side looked broken; and badly broken.

They burnt the vampire body in his own campfire until he was ashes. They tried to cover any obvious signs that they had been there.

They carried him down to the road; supporting his weight across some branches they ripped off to make a basic litter. Paul took most of the weight on his side. Jake groaned and went grey; the pain must have been excruciating. They had taken it really slow through the woods in an effort to jolt the injured man as little as possible. They had tried to take the quickest path to the road, but it _was_ a forest. They could hear the truck coming. They only had to wait for ten minutes or so before the truck reached them.

Quil jumped out and looked Jake over. "Holy fuck!" he swore vehemently.

Embry turned it around and they loaded Jake into the back. No one said anything to her; Quil and Embry didn't even ask how it happened. One point with the mind link, they would know everything the next time one of them phased and thought about it.

They were at least 15 miles south of Forks. Lucky it was late at night and they could probably drive right through town without anyone taking much notice of them. The truck bounced and jolted and with each jolt she felt more guilty. Her arrogance had allowed this to happen. She had made so many strides forward and this was a big backwards one and someone else had got hurt. Someone she cared about.

She was not sure she would ever forgive herself.

Embry was driving and Quil and Seth were in the front. Paul was holding Jake's body against him on the unbroken side, to try and stop him rolling. She was so worried about touching him anywhere. She couldn't even hold his hand. They had covered him with a blanket. He kept groaning and then passing out from the pain. Paul rang Bella when they got into La Push and warned her they were approaching. She said Charles was waiting at the house. Leah would lose her bed for the night. She didn't care.

Charles met them as the truck pulled up.

"Lift him out; gently does it. Straight to the guest room," he instructed.

Paul hugged Bella and followed them down the hallway. Leah stopped in front of Bella. She didn't know what to say.

"It's my fault; I made a mistake… he… he saved me…but…," her voice broke.

Bella hugged her. "Shhh… shhhh," she crooned. "We can't help him like this; come on Leah, snap out of it."

But then she heard a scream and a stream of swear words. They ran inside and met Seth coming out of the room. He had his arms out and stopped them going down the hall way.

"Don't!" he said. They both looked at him for an explanation. "Some of the bones have knitted too fast, and in the wrong way." There was another scream. "Paul is re-breaking them."

"Fuck," Leah breathed. Bella just leant against the wall like she was going to faint.

Leah was so glad she was not Paul; she didn't think she would have been strong enough to do that for someone. When Paul came out of the room _he_ looked broken. Bella grabbed him and dragged him towards their bedroom.

Leah inhaled deeply and walked into the room. If there was one thing she could say, it was that she was not a coward. "Charles, what can I do to help?"

"Just pass me something when I ask for it, Leah."

She finally saw Jake. A tight bandage was around his chest; broken ribs probably. The whole left side of his body was a mass of bruises; where the tape around his ribs didn't cover. Charles hadn't worried about plastering the breaks; they were braced and loosely bandaged; held in a kind of a strut like a construction set. Jake's eyes focused on her and he gave her a small smile.

"I'm going to be okay Leah, don't look like that."

"Not for a couple of days," argued Charles, "At the very least. Pass me that pair of pliers."

She did. She put her hand on Jake's forehead and brushed his hair back. "Have you given him anything for the pain?"

"Yes, but he burns it off so fast."

"Can he have a drink?"

"Jake?" he asked, "You want a drink?"

"Please," he managed.

She hurried to the kitchen and got him an isotonic drink and a straw. Paul and Bella always had a heap of them. She held it for him and his big dark eyes watched her as he drank.

"What's broken?" she asked Charles.

He gave her a look but answered her, "Leg, arm and some ribs; luckily not his pelvis."

She passed a few more things to Charles; held parts of the construction set for him until he eventually announced that he could do no more. He said he would come back in two hours to check on Jake and that she should stay with him. He gave him a last shot just before he left. "He might be a bit spacey," he warned her.

She thanked him and watched him leave.

Jake's eyes were closed and he looked like he was sleeping.

"Stop it!" he said without opening his eyes.

"Stop what?"

"Feeling guilty." He lifted his unbroken arm. "Come here," he instructed.

She lay down carefully on the bed and slid under his arm. "Purely for healing purposes," she told him. She wanted to touch him but wasn't sure where to do so without hurting him. "I'm sorry you got hurt because of me, Jake."

"It's okay," he muttered, "Don't flatter yourself; would have done it for any wolf; would have done it for Seth; doesn't mean I want to fuck him," he rambled. He pulled her closer with his good arm and pressed his face against the top of her head. "You smell good," he slurred.

"And you are out of your tree," she told him.

He actually giggled; it was most unmanly.

She finally found a place that seemed undamaged to put her hand on; a patch on his hip. "Is this okay?" she asked him.

"…feels good…," he mumbled.

A warm flush passed through her as she thought where her hand was and how close it was to other obviously naked parts of him under that sheet.

"How is he?" she heard Bella ask.

Saved by the Bella? "He's out of his tree on whatever was in the last shot Charles gave him." She tried to move but he clutched her to him. "And now he won't let me move," she announced. "Charles said he would be back in about two hours to check on him. How's Paul?"

"He will be fine; he just felt like punching something but I convinced him a shower was a much better idea. He's gone to bed now. I will stay up and let Charles in later. Shout if you need anything."

"Sure, thanks Bella."

"…Bella…" Jake mumbled. She approached the bed and rubbed his face. He smiled at her in his lazy drugged state. "…love you…" he said.

She held the headboard and leant over him, and kissed him gently on the lips. "Love you too," she told him. "Now you go to sleep and heal. Can you do that for me?" She spoke as if he was a small child.

"Okay…" he agreed amiably as he shut his eyes.

Leah watched Bella's face; Paul was right, she did love him.

"Leah..." he breathed and pulled her impossibly tighter against him.

"Hey, go easy," she whined.

Bella chuckled as she left.

Leah decided she should just give up and go to sleep; he wasn't going to let her go. And clearly being near a pack person helped the healing and she owed him that too. The last thought through her head before she slept was that she rather didn't want him to let her go.

FF_2154210_ - 27/11/2010 12:46:00 PM


	14. That wasn't what I meant

**Chapter 14 that wasn't what I meant**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Leah didn't think she had been asleep for that long when the body next to hers started to move. He muttered; and wriggled and jumped. Her eyes opened. Was he having a nightmare?

"Jake?" she asked, "You okay?"

"Thirsty… hot," he muttered.

She went to the bathroom and wet a towel. She rubbed his face with it and around his neck and shoulders like a cool sponge bath. She spread it over his chest and left it while she went to the kitchen for another drink.

Charles came in as she was heading back to the bedroom.

"He slept okay?"

"I think so, but now he is hot and thirsty."

"The medication must have worn off."

Charles examined him. "The breaks are healing well. Did you stay with him?" he asked Leah.

She nodded.

"I think there might be something to this pack therapy. He looks pretty good for two and half hours of healing. We should definitely keep this up; it seems to make a huge difference."

Bella came in at that moment.

"He probably needs to go to the toilet. Can you ladies give us some privacy?" Charles asked.

"I am starving," stated Leah, "Jake you hungry?"

"Starved."

"Fruit, bread and some protein, like cheese if you can," Charles instructed. Jake looked like he had been poisoned. He went to open his mouth.

"And no beer," interrupted Charles.

"Humph," sulked Jake. "Vitamin R heals all."

Charles rolled his eyes.

The girls went off as instructed.

Leah filled a plate with food Charles had recommended. She found a couple of croissants for an extra treat.

"I'll be back," Charles announced as he let himself out.

"Doctor's orders, Jake," Leah told him as she settled herself next to him on the bed. Bella stood in the doorway watching them both. Jake glanced at her, but then his gaze shifted back to Leah.

"Are you going to feed me?" he asked. He was sitting up a little higher in the bed now. His broken arm rested across his stomach.

"Just this once," she assured him as she passed him a bottle of water. He held it in his good hand. She started cutting things up into little pieces. He watched her intently.

The jolt from his eyes when she looked up at him was almost a physical thing. He opened his mouth and never took his eyes off her as she fed him a piece of cheese.

"Drink," she instructed.

He did.

She fed him a piece of apple and his lips touched her finger.

They stared at each other for a beat.

She fed him a piece of croissant and he licked a crumb from her finger.

Bella backed out of the room and ran down the hall to her bedroom.

She climbed onto Paul as he lay in their bed and he let out an 'ouf' noise.

"Jesus woman, what do you want?" he complained.

"Fuck me."

"Okay…" He rolled over and started undressing her. "Why?"

"What do you care?"

He shrugged. "Just wondered, is all."

"I was just watching Leah feed Jake and it was one of the hottest things I have ever seen. Why those two don't just jump each other and get it over with, I do not know," she was helping him tear her clothes off.

"He **is** injured," Paul reasoned.

"Wouldn't stop you," she told him.

He chuckled, "Probably not," he agreed. "Come here, woman." His voice dropped to that low register she just loved.

Jake and Leah blinked when they heard a moan.

"Christ on a cracker," Leah swore, "Do those two ever stop?"

"When she passes out."

"Yeah right…" Leah stopped and stared at him. "Jesus, are you serious? Okay …I just **don't want** to know." She fed him some more food. "Drink."

He sipped his water.

"Did Charles give you another shot?"

"No, why?"

"You got pretty spacey on the last one."

"Yeah…what did I say?"

"That you didn't want to fuck Seth."

Jake frowned. "Is that out of context?"

"Maybe."

He raised an eyebrow but she stuffed some more fruit into his mouth. He chewed slowly.

He waited.

"Okay… you said I shouldn't feel guilty because you saved me. That you would have done it for Seth; it didn't mean you wanted to fuck him," she finished in a rush.

Jake tilted his head. "So are you trying to make an honest man of your brother?"

She frowned at him, and then looked down at the plate. "Empty," she announced.

He drank the last of the water and passed her the empty bottle. He patted the bed next to him. She placed the plate and bottle on the side table. She paused and looked at him. He held his hand out to her.

"Please Leah," he asked.

"Isn't it someone else's turn?" she asked. She had no idea why she was so cranky with him.

"One other wolf in the house and," he glanced towards the door, "he seems to be busy."

"Humph," she said. But she lay down next to him. She deliberately put her back to him though. She lay there for a while staring at a spot on the wall. She was behaving like a sulky bitch and he _had_ saved her, it would have been her lying there broken if he hadn't pushed her out of the way.

She rolled over to apologise but he was already asleep. She watched him and then snuggled down next to him. He was still sitting up a little and it was hard to get comfortable against him without disturbing him. She pushed a pillow up against the head board and put her shoulder into it.

She studied him for a while as he slept and then she reached for his hand and held it in hers.

* * *

Jake opened his eyes and groaned. Jesus, he still felt like everything hurt. But he could breathe a little easier now. He flexed his fingers. The arm didn't hurt so badly, but the leg was still throbbing.

Leah lay next to him. She was still asleep. She had rolled over at some point during her sleep and was now facing him. She was so shitty with him; she had given him her back. He understood. He had _almost_ admitted to wanting to fuck her under the influence of the medication and when she had pushed at it, he had tried to turn it into a joke about Seth. His effective rejection of her would have hurt. She was still convinced she was worthless after the Sam and Emily debacle.

He studied her. Did he want to fuck her? Absolutely.

There was no doubt in his mind.

Did he want to be with her in all the ways that usually mattered? Sickness, health … you know the rest. He frowned. Why the hell not? She'd be trouble; she would argue with him, she would not let him get away with any shit. She'd be an equal partner, not a subservient one.

Did that scare the life out of him? Absolutely.

He heard the door knob turn. Paul stuck his head tentatively in the door.

"How goes it?"

"I need a piss and a bath," Jake answered.

"I can help you get there for one but will have to check with Charles when he will be back and when those braces can come off, for the other."

"I know."

Leah rolled over, sat up on the bed, stood, grabbed some clothes and walked out of the room without a word.

Paul watched her go and then raised an eyebrow at Jake.

"My fault," admitted Jake in a low voice; too low for Leah to overhear.

"Bella came in and jumped me because she said watching her feed you was one of the hottest things she had ever seen. _How _did you fuck that up?" Paul looked perplexed.

Jake tried to shrug. "It's just me I suppose." He winced. "Damn this leg hurts."

"I'll bring you something to piss into, might be easier and less painful for you," suggested Paul.

"Yeah thanks. Besides," added Jake, "you should be thanking me."

"Why? Because Bella jumped me?" Paul snorted, "Don't be ridiculous," he said. "_My_ woman is always jumping me. That's how we started our relationship."

Jake had to laugh at that. "Ouch! Don't make me laugh."

FF_2154210_ - 27/11/2010 04:22:00 PM


	15. The great wall of pillows

**Chapter 15 the great wall of pillows**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Bella brought his breakfast to him. "Charles said he will drop in on his way to the medical centre. How do you feel?"

"Sore all over." He chewed at his lip. "Is Leah still around?"

"No, she went in to work. Barely said a word." Bella looked at him perceptively. "What did you do?" She seated herself on the edge of the bed with her leg tucked under her; she balanced his plate on her leg.

"It's more what I didn't do, I think." He sighed. "I kind of admitted I wanted to fuck her under the influence of the medication."

"Kind of… And…?"

"But then I wouldn't admit it later when she asked me about it."

"Ouch." Bella frowned. "She asked?"

"Sort of… but I tried to turn it into a joke about fucking Seth. I panicked," he admitted. "What do I do?"

"Jacob Black! Are you asking me for dating advice?"

"Yeah… I'm desperate." He grinned at her. "I just thought you might think more like a girl."

"Leah doesn't think like normal girls."

"Aint that the truth." He chewed on some toast. "Actually I think that is half the problem. She would like to…" he reached for his coffee, "be a normal girl that is."

They sat there for a while.

"If I push her she will freak and run away again; she is so fragile right now. Maybe the last thing she needs right now is me." Jake sounded torn.

"No," argued Bella, "you are exactly what you both need right now." She shook her head. "All I can suggest is go gently Jake." She brushed her hand through his hair. "You can do that, but keep at her; don't let her squirm out of this one." She chuckled. "I know from personal experience that you can be pretty damn persistent when you want to be."

He smiled, "Yeah, I sure can."

"Why didn't you ask Paul for dating advice?" she queried.

"Honestly? His dating advice works for him; but generally not so well for anyone else."

Bella looked confused.

"Quil tried it once; and only once and for Quil that is saying something."

"Okay, I'll bite. Please explain."

"Paul told him if he wanted to check out a girl's rack he should just look down the front of her shirt. So Quil tried it, got beat down and came back to complain to Paul. I swear to god, he goes over there and does exactly what Quil just did and she melts all over him."

Bella just laughed. "He does that to me all the time," she giggled, "but he somehow makes it seductive."

"Who? What?" from Paul as he came into the room. He looked at them both.

"You," Bella explained. "You look down my shirt all the time."

Paul looked nonplussed, "Yes I do, so?"

"I couldn't do that to Leah could I?" Jake asked.

"Hell no; she'd take your head off."

"See!" said Jake.

"No, that is not a valid argument because I couldn't do it to her, either," argued Paul.

"Can I do it to Bella?" asked Jake eagerly.

Bella laughed and held her arms over her chest protectively. "No one is looking down my shirt," she stated.

"Am I interrupting something?" asked Charles.

They all laughed and then Jake whined, "Don't make me laugh. It hurts."

Charles was very pleased with Jake's progress. He unwrapped his ribs. He broke down the supporting frame but wrapped the leg securely with a brace inside the bandage. At least Jake could be helped to the bathroom now. He made him promise to stay in bed for another twelve hours if he could. Every minute he spent off that leg allowed it to get stronger. His arm was unbound and declared healed. Embry and Quil dropped in so they and Paul spent the afternoon lying on the bed playing cards with Jake to celebrate.

The wolf therapy healing worked as an argument there, too. But Bella spat it when they expected her to bring them all food, though. She pointed out that there was only one invalid and three completely able bodied wolves. They tried to argue that moving on the bed jostled Jake and caused him pain. Leah saved the day by coming home from work with a stack of pizzas and a case of beer. Bella stormed off to work in the kitchen.

After eating her fill, Leah settled herself into the armchair and watched the boys play cards. They were in a 500 phase at the moment and swore they couldn't deal her in as it would mess up the teams. She read her police procedure manual and watched them interact. Quil always bid too high and relied on getting the cards in the kitty to bail him out.

It occurred to her that being forced to stay in the vicinity of La Push as wolves had one positive advantage; it would also save their friendships. Usually people grew older, went away to college, got married, often to people they met at college and never stayed in touch with their childhood friends. But because these guys were all pack brothers, they would be together until a more final ending. Until death would they part.

Jake kept glancing at her and she was trying to do her best to ignore him. She didn't feel up to going back to her home, so she had nowhere else to go. Maybe she should sleep on the lounge tonight.

"Who's patrolling?" she asked.

"Sam has filled in and he and Jared are out tonight, until Jake is back on four feet," Embry answered.

"Any sign of the vamp that bit the hiker?"

"Last night we picked up signs of one leaving that area. Unless it was a young vamp themselves and they liked the look of that guy, they do that don't they?" from Quil.

"Do what?" Leah asked.

"They kind of imprint like us," argued Quil, "you know, they pick a mate for life or death; shit what do you call it? Until the flat line stops?" he paused, "Well at least the Cullens did."

Paul spoke, "We were all so distracted by Jake being injured, and we didn't check the area for any more."

"Yeah," Jake agreed, "Freaking amateur hour guys. That shit will get you killed."

They all looked chastised.

With the change in atmosphere, Embry and Quil said their farewells and headed home. Paul helped Jake into the bathroom so that he could wash up.

"I am so going to enjoy a shower when all this comes off," he waved at his injured leg.

Leah grabbed some clothes and took her turn in the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror and sucked in a big breath before she left the room.

Jake was reading a car magazine. She chuckled at the thought that they almost looked like some old married couple. If her hair was in rollers and her face covered with cold cream, they would be the sitcom TV couple. He hadn't left her much room in the bed.

"Shove over, Petal," she told him.

He gave her a look.

"Should I build a wall of pillows down the centre of the bed or can you keep your hands to yourself?" she asked.

He snorted and reached for his phone. She had no idea what he was doing until he held it out for her. She leaned forward and saw a photo of her. She appeared to be lying on top of Jake's back.

"Omigod… am I naked? Was that when I was out?"

"Yep." He sounded smug.

"Who took it?"

"Paul." He watched her. "Bella thought it was sweet. Paul thought it was hilarious."

She frowned. "He hasn't said anything… I mean, you know Paul, I would have assumed he would take every opportunity to tease me about it…" she trailed off.

She stood there, uncertain of what to do. She picked up a pillow. "I'll sleep on the lounge."

"Leah, don't be silly. You can sleep here. I'll keep my hands to myself," he promised.

She snorted. "Clearly it's not _you _I have to worry about."

"Please Leah," he begged, "it does help with the healing and… it feels good to sleep with another pack person… you must have noticed that…."

"When have you…?" she shook her head, "I do **not** want to know."

"Don't leap to conclusions, Embry and Quil crash on the lounge with me all the time. I suspect we all stick together because it feels good. What does Paul call it? A puppy pile?"

"Sure, sure," she said, "those guys are just too lazy to go home. Although I can see how the puppy analogy fits; especially when Embry eats too much and he gets that little fat tummy."

Jake chuckled and patted the bed next to him, "C'mere, Cupcake." He grinned at her.

"Watch it Black!" she snarled at him. But she got into the bed.

FF_2154210_ - 29/11/2010 12:09:00 PM


	16. Circling

**Chapter 16 Circling**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Jake couldn't sleep; his leg was aching and he was so completely aware of Leah lying next to him; aware with every fibre of his being that it was Leah Clearwater in bed with him.

He sighed. He could tell from her breathing that she was asleep. He shuffled around trying to get comfortable. There was an itch under his bandage and the more he thought about it, the itchier it got. He tried to rub at it through the bandage and that kind of worked. He was tired of lying on his back but couldn't get comfortable with the leg. If it was on the bottom, it hurt and if it was on the top it strained and pulled from the drag.

But then Leah rolled over. He froze. She shuffled herself in against his side, making little noises in her sleep. He lifted his arm smoothly and slipped it down her back. If she woke up, he would just deal with it. He pulled her gently against him and she made some small noise of complaint but didn't wake up.

She rubbed her face on his bare chest. He stopped breathing. Her arm slipped across his stomach and she let out a sigh.

He felt warm inside. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. He didn't care about having to sleep on his back now.

* * *

Leah opened her eyes and stifled a groan; she had done it again. She was plastered up against Jake's body. She lifted her head and took a look at him. He was sound asleep. She tried to shuffle back without disturbing him, but she had to slip out from under his arm. She stared intently at his face as she moved to make sure he didn't wake up. It didn't help; he really was a very attractive man.

But she hadn't quite decided what to do about it. Clearly she was attracted to him, but she wasn't sure about his feelings. Her vision quest had shown her the wolf couple. She assumed that the message for her was that she, as the only female wolf, was supposed to be part of a wolf couple. Was it a message for the future? Was it going to happen or was she supposed to make it happen? She didn't know.

She had managed to back out of the bed without disturbing him or so she thought, but it was as if, with her gone, he missed her. His arm reached out and hit the now empty side of the bed. His eyes fluttered.

She just couldn't deal with this, so in her usual fashion, she didn't. She hid in the bathroom. She stood under the water in the shower and decided that she would just pretend this wasn't happening. He would be gone today. He was well enough to get around on his own and he could go home. He could be away from her and she would deal with all this later. Yeah, that would work.

The fact that he was her Alpha and she had to see inside his head the next time they phased was a problem, but she would deal with that later, too. One step at a time. It was all she was capable of right now. She had come a few steps forward and she needed to keep doing that. Even little baby steps kept her moving forward.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She had got some of her shit together; she had a job, she had dealt with her survivor guilt a little. She was continuing to hide, away from her own home, but still….

She stood with her hand on the doorknob listening intently. She couldn't hear any movement. Was he still asleep? She sighed. What the hell was wrong with her? Pull yourself together woman! You are Leah fucking Clearwater! And besides, you have to get your clothes. In her panicked rush to hide, she hadn't brought any clothes with her.

She straightened her shoulders, wrapped her towel securely around her and opened the door.

She walked out and went straight to her bag without glancing at the bed. She grabbed some clean underwear and then went to the wardrobe to get her uniform.

"Good morning."

She had to glance at him now. "Morning," she replied. He was lying sideways on the bed; as if he had just managed to bend in the middle. His face was occupying the spot she had vacated so quickly. It was probably still warm from the heat of her body. Just the thought of that made her shiver. Maybe he did miss her?

"Ahh…" she blustered, "I am going to get dressed and have some breakfast. Do you think you can walk on your leg? I could get Paul to come and help you to the kitchen?" Whatever. As long as you don't want me to help you do that, she prayed.

He just looked at her. She felt as if he could see right through her.

"Sure, sure," he said in his trademark response.

"Okay then," she agreed and ran into the bathroom again.

* * *

Jake watched her run and chuckled to himself. She was really off balance this morning. He lay there feeling her warmth against his cheek. He closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. God, she was mouth watering.

He waited for her to exit dressed and tried to swing his leg off the side of the bed. With a crutch or crutches, he could probably get around by himself. He could make it to the bathroom at present by hopping and hanging onto walls and furniture.

He heard Paul come in whilst he was washing his face.

"Hey dude, how are you this morning? Almost 100%?"

"Almost. Some crutches would be good."

Paul studied him. He raised his eyebrows in a question. Jake shook his head. Paul shook his head as well and looked oddly disappointed with Jake.

"Hopeless," he said.

"Hey," Jake complained. "She's that bloody nervous, give me a chance. Bella said to take it slow." He spoke very low so only Paul could hear him.

Paul just snorted.

"Besides," argued Jake, "I want to be at 100% when I take that girl down. Gonna do it properly the first time."

Paul punched him in the shoulder, "Way to go, Jakey boy," he encouraged. He rubbed his hands with glee, "Better get Charles to check you out and see how long that bandage has to stay." He leant in and sniffed at Jake. "And you stink. Damn, you need a proper shower, dude."

"Leah doesn't seem to mind," Jake looked supremely pleased with himself.

Paul just laughed and held his arm out. "Breakfast. Come on you old cripple."

"Fuck, speaking of whom, who is looking after Dad?"

"He's moved in with Charlie for a few days. Did you forget? I was sure he told you that. Maybe you were spaced on the drugs or something. So better and better," his voice dropped, "your house is empty… for when the bandage comes off." He wriggled his eyebrows at Jake.

"Yeah… that would work."

They grinned at each other like partners in crime as they made their way to the kitchen.

"Jake! You're up!" Bella greeted him. She placed a glass of milk in front of him when he sat.

"Milk?"

"Doctor's orders. Charles said we need to step up your protein and calcium so that bone heals properly and no caffeine. So no cola drinks or coffee and definitely no beer and here," she placed some pills in his hand, "take your vitamins."

Jake tried the puppy eyes.

Bella stood with her hands on her hips. "Give it up, Jacob," she told him. "puppy eyes don't work."

Leah snorted as she sipped at her coffee. She waved the mug at Jake, reminding him that she had coffee and he didn't.

"You gave me coffee yesterday," he grizzled.

"Well, now I know better," Bella stated.

He frowned. "Can I go back to bed?" he asked sulkily as he swallowed the tablets.

"No!" Bella looked at him suspiciously. "Paul, did you let him drink beer last night?"

"Ahhh …" Paul looked trapped, "maybe just the one," he admitted.

Bella frowned at him.

"You might have to fry him an extra egg. Eggs are good protein, right?" he smiled at her, "to compensate for the one beer."

"Just one?" she asked.

"Oh absolutely; just the one beer." Both boys tried to look innocent. Leah rolled her eyes.

"I have to go to work," Leah stood "and leave this den of iniquity and underage drinking. See you later guys."

When she had left Bella turned on Jake, "So how did it go?"

"How did what go?" he asked.

"Nothing," Paul snorted, "he did nothing."

"Hey, I'm taking it slow," Jake argued. "You told me to."

"God I can't stand it!" Bella exclaimed.

"You can jump me again if it makes you feel better," offered Paul.

She beamed at him and climbed into his lap. "Jumping you always makes me feel better," she assured him with a kiss.

"Guys?... breakfast?" Jake whined.

"Sorry, got distracted." Bella gave Paul another kiss and climbed off him; he pouted.

"I showed her the photo though."

"Why?" asked Bella.

"She argued that I couldn't keep my hands to myself and I had proof it was the other way around."

"Yeah that will work," said Paul sarcastically, "show her that her weakness is you so she will avoid you. No wait…"

"No, it'll work," Jake argued. "She is more aware of what she is doing and how she reacts to me. She still climbed all over me in her sleep. Half of her reactions are innate, is that the word? Maybe instinctive; you know this is the Alpha male here." He gestured at himself with a kind of voila gesture.

"Well, eat your breakfast, alpha male," said Bella placing a plate from the oven in front of him. "I will call Charles and see what his plan for you is. Paul what are you up to today?"

"Sam didn't take the police job because he is starting a construction business. I wanted to talk to him about taking me on. Another salary would be good and it will be good exercise and great cover for the pack."

"Good idea. I am proud of you, honey." She went off to phone Charles.

"Come on Paul, give me a sip of your coffee," begged Jake.

"No way man, I am not getting into any more trouble today; the beer was enough. Drink your milk Alpha."

"I'll get you for this," Jake threatened.

Bella came back. "Charles asked that you go in to the medical centre. He said if anyone asks you can say you injured your leg but don't tell them you broke it because you have healed too fast. He wants to take an x-ray and make sure it is all good before he takes the brace off."

"I'll take him down and then head over to Sam's," Paul offered.

FF_2154210_ - 30/11/2010 03:28:00 AM


	17. Just one of the boys

**Chapter 17 just one of the boys**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Leah had got into work early; anything to get out of the house and away from the oh so sweet smelling problem that was Jacob Black.

She was on the firing range; she needed the practice. She was emptying the gun into a target with a certain sense of satisfaction.

She observed Charlie come in and watch her. She saw him wince as she took off her earmuffs and pulled the target in for inspection. The shots were in a neat cluster but predominantly in what would have been the groin of the paper assailant.

"Angry with someone Leah?"

"Men!" she snorted and looked pleased by her accuracy.

"Pretty accurate, but we usually prefer a faster take down if you have to use your weapon," advised Charlie. "Heart and head will stop them sooner." He clapped her on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. "Coffee's on and then you are on fingerprint counter duty. A couple of people have made appointments for today. It is all written down in the appointment book."

"Sure thing, Sheriff."

The counter duty was easy. When she wasn't trying to pick a fight with people she could be polite. Her mother taught her manners after all. It was much easier for her if people didn't know her and her 'reputation'. The uniform actually worked as superb camouflage. People saw the uniform first; it was a new discovery for her. And another thing to like about her new job.

Later in the locker room she got some ribbing from the other deputies. One in particular was just a fool. He had the old 'women can't do anything' attitude. 'Police work is a man's job' etcetera. This had been going on for days and she was tired of him. She was also itching for a fight, but he didn't know that. He had chosen a very bad day to pick a fight with Leah Clearwater.

His surname was Rogers and he had, naturally inherited the unfortunate nickname of 'Buck' for obvious reasons.

She decided to call his bluff.

"Okay Buck," she stated. "Why don't we settle this the old fashioned way?"

He looked suspicious, as if he wasn't sure what she meant. "What do you mean?" he asked.

She clarified with a head nod towards the exercise mats. "Wanna strap the gloves on and go a few rounds?"

He looked gleeful. Now that was a worry; if the highlight of his day was beating up a woman. That just didn't bear thinking about. Maybe she could do all of womankind a favour here and teach him a lesson.

"You think you can stand against me, Clearwater?"

"I will give it the old college try," she stated innocently.

There were some murmurs from the other deputies; most expressing concern for her. A few noises of encouragement and some other noises sounding oddly like chickens for Buck. She ignored them. She noticed one guy sneak out the back; probably to get Charlie.

She held her hands up. "Just need some help with the gloves?" She had never fought with gloves on before, but it couldn't be hard; guys could do it.

Buck leered at her. "Sure thing little girl; let's go a round and see how well you bruise."

Ugh, now that was just creepy. One guy had started to lace her gloves on tightly. "Oh before we start, is there a safe word?" Before he got a chance to answer her, she saw Charlie come in the back.

"Leah?" he asked. That one word held a lot; are you sure about this? Is this what you want? I can rescue you if you want. She also thought there might be an element of 'I know you are pissed off with a man, but don't take it out on Buck' too. She ignored all of that.

"I'm just proving to Buck here, that I can do this 'man's' job." Damn it was hard to put inverted commas around a word with boxing gloves on.

When Charlie realized she was not going to back out of this he said one more word, "Headgear."

The others helped the combatants strap on a head protector.

She moved backwards towards the mats and did a little jog in place; lifting and lowering her shoulders and swinging her arms. She sized up her opponent. He was big, but that didn't impress her. Compared to the pack boys, he wasn't that big. He was probably just a touch shy of six feet. She knew already he wasn't that smart, but she had a feeling that he had fought before… maybe a lot. She had kept her ears open in her first few days and although nobody really gossiped about other cops, she already knew he used a little too much force in some of his arrests. It was spooky how often his arrests banged their head on the top of the vehicle door frame; just spooky. Resisting arrest, sure, sure.

She rotated her head, loosening up her shoulders without taking her eyes off him.

His gloves were on now and he hammered them together making a resounding smack noise. He leered at her again. Ugh.

She risked a glance at Charlie and he looked vaguely concerned. She tried to give him a little smile to reassure him.

One of the guys counted them down and it was on. She danced around Buck a little and let him make contact a couple of times. She took note of which guys winced for her. She put all her effort into judging his reach and speed, the hits were nothing to her.

She supposed that she was being unfair, but she needed this for a lot of reasons. But mostly because if she didn't deal with this now, in a way they understood, then they would _never_ accept her as one of them. It was just the way things were; she understood that from the pack. It may not be right, and it may not be fair, but it was just how things were. She had never been the weakest in the pack and she was dammed if she was going to start playing the mute female now. Not today.

She got in a hard left, low on his ribs and danced back. She circled around him, blocked a couple of punches from him and then snuck in a right, straight into the top of his shoulder. That would make him hurt the next time he made contact with that arm; it would vibrate up through that spot. He was warier now and hung back a little.

The gym was hot and he had started to sweat a little too. She kept him moving with sharp little jabs. Her greater speed meant she easily blocked anything he tried to throw at her. The watching men were eerily silent as if they weren't quite sure who to barrack for. They did emit a noise when she got him clean in the gut and knocked the wind out him. She took some steps back and waited for him to recover. He was starting to get pissed now and it made him sloppy. She could have finished him while he was recovering and he seemed to take her restraint as an insult.

He took a step towards her and she took one in the gut. Unfortunately for him, he had come close to her and she whipped in with an uppercut that caught him under the chin and laid him out cold. His body had hidden the speed of her arm movement from most of the watchers and her judgment of distance was so precise that she had squeezed it between their bodies without touching his chest.

There was silence for a beat.

"Sorry," she shrugged, "we never did arrange that safe word."

FF_2154210_ - 30/11/2010 11:58:00 PM


	18. Wolf biology 101

**Chapter 18 wolf biology 101**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Paul dropped Jake at the medical centre and left him. Partly because he had other things to do and Charles was busy, and partly because he thought Jake was much stronger and able to look after himself; more so than the others did.

Charles eventually got away from his other patients and x-rayed the leg. "It looks pretty good, how does it feel?"

"Hard to say, I don't think I've broken this many bones before but I will promise to stay off it as much as possible."

"I will leave it wrapped and braced for one more day just to make sure."

"I really need a shower," Jake begged.

Charles laughed. "I will unwrap it now. You can have a shower here provided that you keep the weight off it and then I will re-brace it."

He continued, "You know, with all that happened and the discovery about the pack therapy for more rapid healing, I have been thinking about injuries and healing. We need to do some experiments on phasing. I mean your whole body transforms when you phase, so if you could phase with a broken bone would it be instantly healed?"

"I don't know. So whose arm will we break?" asked Jacob, "I mean who is going to nominate themselves for that experiment."

Charles laughed, "You may be right. Perhaps it will have to wait for the next non-threatening injury. You for example, couldn't have phased after your run-in with the newborn because you were unconscious and then you were in so much pain. I don't believe you could have concentrated enough to pull it off."

"True," Jake thought for a minute. "But I passed out phased and the broken bones were still there human. Does that mean it might work the other way; that we could heal injuries obtained whilst human, simply by phasing?"

"Maybe. It seems logical to me."

"Most of our injuries are obtained whilst in wolf form though. Pity you weren't here when Paul and I had a fight once. I hurt him rather badly; made his face into hamburger meat, even broke his arm."

Charles looked curious.

"Bella." Jake said; it was enough to tell him what or who the fight was over.

"And Paul won the girl?"

Jacob laughed. "Don't sound so incredulous. He had metaphysics on his side. She had _already _imprinted on him, but I didn't know that. Truth be told, he didn't even fight me. He won Bella, he didn't win the fight."

"No I suppose not, otherwise** he **would be the alpha."

"Fuck I didn't even think about that! I mean he would have had every reason to fight me hard enough, to keep his imprint. He might actually have taken me out, if he was fighting for her." Jake made a thinking noise. "Sometimes that guy is way smarter than anyone gives him credit for, you know."

"I understand that he held it together when you got injured and Leah lost it," Charles put in.

"Yeah she did lose it a bit. But that is the first time_ ever_ and she had been through a pretty rough couple of weeks. I won't hold that against her. She's still my beta."

"Maybe so, but she should be your alpha female. She cannot be that **and** the beta; it's one or the other. A different male should be your beta male."

There was silence for a minute and then Jake spoke. "Charles did you have much to do with female shifters? Did your tribe have any?"

"We had a couple. Why do you ask?"

"Remember we spoke about Leah thinking she is less female because she doesn't menstruate. She feels like she has gone through menopause at 20." He rubbed at his hair, he was embarrassed. "Fuck I hate talking about this female stuff."

"As far as we knew it was not unusual for female shifters to have the same physiological issues that Leah is facing," Charles said.

"Does that mean she could never have children?"

"Oh no, far from it. It just means that her body is not ready. She is probably behaving more like a wolf does and less like a human in the physiological way."

"I don't understand."

"She may not be interested in reproduction until she has a mate and then she will probably be like a wolf and go into heat."

"What does that mean? I mean, I know what it means, but how would it work?"

"A human female ovulates every month and has no obvious 'heat' period. A wolf female goes into oestrus or ovulates for only five to seven days sometime between January and April; more likely between February and March. Usually only the alpha pair mates and then they stay away from the rest of the pack during that time to decrease issues with other males fighting over her."

"How will she know it is happening? I mean that she is in heat. Fuck, this is weird."

"She will smell good to** all **the male wolves and they will start to harass and sniff her."

"Some of them already do that."

"She will be closer and more affectionate with her mate." He gave Jake a searching look. "I'm not saying she_ should_ be your female but if she is, then you need to think about this stuff and be prepared."

Jake rubbed his hand through his hair again. "Fuck I HATE this stuff. Girl stuff and girl wolf stuff. Why can't we just be normal and choose people in something approaching a normal fashion. None of the imprints have to deal with this shit, but because _she_ is our only female… it's just not fair," he said in frustration. "She's got enough crap to deal with…"

Charles looked uncomfortable as well. "I can't imagine that any of this makes her life easier."

"Oh Jesus, tell me Seth won't think she smells good too…"

"I honestly don't know the answer to that one. I sure hope not."

"And what if it affects the imprinted males? That could be a clusterfuck of spectacular proportions. What if Sam….? NO… no way; I cannot let this happen." Jake looked vehement.

"Unfortunately Jake; it's nothing to do with you, unless you are her mate. But it is only a week or two a year. Maybe she could just go away at that time."

"But if that is her only chance to breed, that's not fair either."

"Look Jake, I know you are trying to be a good Alpha here, but you are way too many steps ahead of yourself. First off; she doesn't even have a mate yet." Charles looked tentative, "and if that mate is you, then you are aware of the issues and can keep an eye out for them. If you don't mind me saying so, Leah has a large part in all of this as well. She has never asked me any of this stuff."

"But she may, once she gets herself together and thinks about it all. Plus you are relatively new to the tribe and it takes her a long time to trust people."

"And we will deal with it then." He patted Jacob on the shoulder. "Go have a shower and I will re-bind that leg. First things first, eh?"

A shower was heaven, Jake thought. The person who invented the hot water system was seriously underrated in the lists of best inventors of all time. Never even knew their name, but he thanked them profusely, whoever they were.

When he had dried off, Charles braced and rebound his leg.

"Another twelve hours; maybe a day tops, and then it can come off," Charles assured him.

He lent him some crutches and Jake headed for home. He knew his dad was still away and he would try and do some mechanical work and some stuff around the house. Well, as much as he could, being a cripple and all.

* * *

Leah headed home after work. She had served a document; done the fingerprinting desk and beaten up a jerk. It wasn't a bad day really.

The guys at work now considered her one of 'the boys'; not a girl at all and that worked fine for her.

She sat watching TV with Paul and felt like something was missing. It took her a while to realize that it was Jacob; she missed him. She begged off more TV saying she was tired and needed to go to bed early. Paul and Bella both wished her good night.

She lay on the bed and tossed and turned. She had a shower and crawled into the bed. She caught a scent; it was Jake. Bella hadn't changed the sheets and the bed still smelt like him. She found herself edging over to 'his' side and pressing her face into the mattress and the pillow to catch every last trace of him.

Oh, this was fucked up! She really needed to work this out.

She lay there and tried to think it through. She tried to find the calmness that she had found during the vision quest. She closed her eyes and concentrated. She'd thought that she would make a list:

He was the alpha male.

She was the alpha female. Well, she was the _only _female.

He was very attractive to her.

He was very _attracted_ to her. At least she thought he was. He had kind of flirted with her and he had almost admitted he wanted to fuck her; he denied it later, but he had kind of said it.

_She_ was very attracted to him. She couldn't stay away from him in the bed. It wasn't just his word either, there was photographic proof.

She inhaled. And he smelt really good. **God****,**did he smell good.

She needed to talk to him; really talk.

She needed to tell him what she had seen in her quest; the wolf family.

She was so nervous. If she admitted to him that she was interested, then she was holding her poor battered heart out again and desperately hoping no one stomped on it this time.

She knew he had gone home and she knew his dad was still away. They had discussed it over the kitchen table. She had the day off tomorrow so she decided to go over there and talk to him. That would work.

What was she going to say? I want a promotion? Let me be your alpha female? Maybe they could be together but not _together_? Partners but not…you know. Oh…. This was insane! She threw herself back onto the bed with a groan.

Tomorrow. She would go talk to him tomorrow. What was the worst that could happen?

FF_2154210_ - 2/12/2010 03:32:00 AM


	19. Verity and balderdash

**Chapter 19 verity and balderdash***

*it means truth and silliness

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Leah woke up, got dressed in one of her functional sundresses and ate breakfast.

She popped into her house to see Seth. Her mother was out, staying at Charlie's again Seth informed her.

"Those two are getting pretty serious," Seth commented. "I swear I was nearly blinded the other night when I came home and they were making out on the couch. I mean it's just wrong… on so many levels…** wrong**," he muttered.

"If he makes an honest woman of her, then Bella will be our stepsister," suggested Leah.

"Yeah, that would be really cool!" Seth sounded ecstatic at the idea. "And your new boss would be your stepdad," chortled Seth. "I don't know if they will actually get married. I mean where would they live? Hey, I should ask right? I'm the man of the house." Seth puffed up his chest and tried to look manly.

"Seriously? You are going to ask Charlie Swan what his 'intentions' are towards our mother?" Leah looked incredulous.

"Why not?" Seth had his usual eager puppy look. "It would be damn funny anyway, just to ask. Can you imagine Charlie's face? I bet he blushes just like Bella does on the embarrassing stuff." He put on a serious face and folded his arms. "Should I ask if you two are being safe? There are a lot of sexually transmitted diseases around these days…"

They both shuddered at the thought.

"I am going to check on Jake, I'll see you later," she hugged him and headed off to the Black house.

Jake wasn't in the house, he must be in the garage.

She called out as she approached even though she knew he could tell it was her.

"Hey Leah," he said as she came into the garage. She threw herself onto an old bench seat that was up against the wall. She watched him work on a car. He was having trouble getting around properly with the leg still bandaged.

"How were the x-rays?" she asked; small talk was safe.

"Good." He looked at her and wiped his hands on a rag. "Charles said to leave it bound another twelve hours and that was up a while ago, but I reckon it can probably come off soon. I feel fine and it is seriously pissing me off to deal with the brace."

He was watching her again. It made her feel nervous.

"Why don't you come inside and have a sandwich and a cool drink? It's all I can offer right now." It wasn't really lunch time, but they were always hungry.

She smiled at him. "Okay."

They moved to the kitchen and Jake made sandwiches while she made a jug of iced tea. They sat at the battered old kitchen table.

"So how was your day, Cupcake?" Jake asked with a smirk.

"Fine, Petal," she answered. "I have the day off today which is cool, but yesterday I had to beat up a bully, but it worked. It's all better now."

Jake frowned. "What did you do?"

"It was the usual boy thing; you are just a girl, you can't do a man's job. You know the stuff, just like the pack does. So I challenged him to a fight." She grinned at him mischievously. "Laid him out cold on the mats. Once I had proved myself, they have all accepted me now as one of the boys. They can stop worrying about me not having their back, you know." She ate her sandwich. She collected his plate and washed up the few items in the sink.

"Do you think it will be okay to unbind this leg? I am **so** sick of it."

"Sure, it should be fine, it's been days now and if the X-ray was good…"

He unwrapped it and flexed it a bit. "It feels all right. It feels so much better with that brace off anyway." He wriggled his toes and bent his leg up and down.

They sat there and she fiddled with the corner of the tea towel.

He gave her a penetrating look. "Is there something you wanted to say, Leah?"

She inhaled and let out a gush of air. "I thought I ought to talk to you about my dream vision spirit quest… thing. Whatever you call it." She was suddenly nervous. She was babbling. The poor tea towel was getting a work out in her hands.

"Aah… okay… if you want." He was rolling the bandage up neatly; probably just as nervous as she was and needed to do something with his hands.

"It took me a while to get into it… I was lost for a while in the same endless patch of forest… until I stopped trying to find the way out… and then I sat down and tried to think about why I was doing it … what I wanted from it… I thought of a few things I wanted answers to…or at least problems I had …that I wanted a solution to. First was the job and admitting my guilt about my father's death. And I have done both of those, so that is two down."

She thought she should hang the tea towel up before she tore it in half.

She wrung her hands together nervously. "I still don't know what to do about going home; I mean I have to do it eventually. I can't live with Paul and Bella forever."

"Whenever you are ready," he stated.

"But, how will I know when that is?" She looked at him. "I'm a mess, Jacob."

"No, you're not. You are getting there. We have all been through a lot in the last few years, Leah. Everyone deals with things in different ways and at a different pace. You are doing the best that you can."

"Yeah… maybe." She rubbed at her arms, she was still nervous. She blew out a breath. "So I met my spirit guide or whatever he was; my dad, and he gave me water and we talked. I suppose we forgave each other. He said he didn't want me to carry the guilt of thinking I killed him, because then he would blame himself and it was too much for him to bear."

"You're lucky." Jake looked serious. "Sometimes I wish I could see my mother. Talk to her like you did. You are so lucky that it happened like that."

She hadn't thought about that. She couldn't help herself; she reached for his hand and squeezed it sympathetically. He gave her a small smile.

"I spent a hell of a lot of time wandering around lost. I thought it was ridiculous and I was stuck and I couldn't get out of the stupid vision quest. It didn't really start to give me any answers until I stopped being so shitty with the whole process." Now she had started to talk about it, she felt like explaining more of it to him.

"I kind of worked out to follow my instincts. Keep away from places that didn't feel right and stay near places that felt good or felt right, I suppose."

She looked up to see if he was still listening, and he was staring at her again. She lowered her head and kept talking.

"I ended up on James Island; Akalat. You know, where the chiefs are buried."

Jake nodded.

"I thought of you then," she admitted. "It occurred to me that I thought I had no destiny and you thought you had too much." She risked another glance at him. He was looking interested and intrigued now.

He just waited for her to continue speaking. Damn him; he must have learnt that from his dad.

She blustered on; she felt that she had to get this all out. "I thought of you and I thought that maybe I was supposed to help you somehow."

He raised an eyebrow. "How?" he asked.

She was too nervous now; she got to her feet and started to pace back and forth in the tiny kitchen. "Well, I don't know. But the reason I thought of you was because I heard your voice."

"_My_ voice?" he queried.

"I couldn't tell what you were saying but I could _hear_ you."

Jake looked surprised.

There was a silence while they both processed what she had been saying.

"Praying," he breathed.

"Pardon?"

"I was praying to the Gods," he admitted. He looked a little embarrassed. "I was so worried about you and we didn't know what was wrong and I didn't know what else to do."

"Oh," she said. He had prayed for her; it touched her in a way she hadn't anticipated.

He was watching her again. "Anything else?" he asked.

"Yeah… I had a kind of a vision."

The eyebrow again.

She sighed. "I saw a female wolf and her cubs. It was a pack with a few older animals too, and then I saw her male come with food for them all. One of the older cubs was just like Quil."

"Quil?"

She blushed. "The two leaders were really affectionate with each other. It was kind of cute."

"Cute?"

"Will you stop repeating everything I say!" she frowned at him. "And then they stopped and they both stared at me like they knew I was there the whole time. Like the whole thing was a show, they had put on for my benefit."

"Okay David Attenborough; what does it mean?"

"I don't know."

He got to his feet. He moved pretty well now with the brace off.

"Okay… what do _you_ think it means?" he asked her in a deep, low voice.

She was having serious second thoughts. This was a very bad idea. She was going to die of embarrassment. She was sure she was going to die of embarrassment. This wasn't like her. She was Leah fucking Clearwater. Lately, he constantly made her all upset and on edge. Maybe if she closed her eyes, she could deal with him. She stood with her back against the sink. She could still feel him, and she could scent him. She knew that he had moved closer to her. He was standing right in front of her now.

"I thought that it might be telling me… that I should be the alpha female." There was a silence. "That I should be _your_ alpha female," she finished in a rush. She was so mortified that she had actually said that out loud, that she tried to run away a little, before he boxed her in. She moved to the other side of the table and he watched her go; his eyes half closed and predatory. As long as she was away from him. At least until she sorted out what she was trying to say; and what it was supposed to mean.

And how **he **was going to react to it.

FF_2154210_ - 2/12/2010 08:05:00 PM


	20. Maybe you have to fight for it

**Chapter 20 Maybe you have to fight for it**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

**Warning: male female physical fighting closely followed by... well you know... remember children, safe sex always**

"You went on a spirit quest and it told you to fuck me?" He smirked at her and started to move in closer to her again. "That's my kind of spirit quest," he muttered.

"Stop it!", she smacked his arm. He laughed at her.

"It did** not** tell me to fuck you. I think it told me.. to bind myself to you… as your alpha female."

"And how exactly is that any different?"

"Well I don't know…it's not like they give you a spirit quest guide book," she grumbled. "Turn left at the freaky tree spirit…"

"I'm still hoping for fucking," he suggested. His voice had dropped and she actually looked at his face.

Wow! Jacob Black could do bedroom eyes like nobody else, too. It just wasn't fair. He was the biggest, the strongest, and the Alpha wolf and now he was looking at her like that. Her heart shifted in her chest. He leant in and sniffed at her. She suddenly wondered what the heck she smelt like to him right now. Excited?

"Well, how am I supposed to make you _my_ alpha female if I don't treat you like… you know… a female?" He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow at her.

Damn. It was the way he said 'my'; it made her feel all squiffy inside.

"Aahhh…" she managed. She took a step back.

He leant in towards her again. "Can I bite you?" he asked in a low gravelly voice..

"What? No!" Another step back.

"So, no marking. Can I tie you up?"

"WHAT? NO!" She bumped into the wall.

"Huh," he snorted, "So, no good submissive behaviour then."

She glared at him. What the fuck was wrong with her? She **couldn't** stand up to him; she couldn't stand her ground. He had boxed her in again. He had backed her into a wall. This wasn't like her.

"Wolf females are submissive to their males. And when they have sex, they lock together; sometimes for more than half an hour. You know that. No pulling out early for wolf males," he stated.

She shivered. "Stop it!" she ordered.

"I've been reading up on this stuff," he told her with that look in his eyes again. "A plug forms at the base of the male penis and locks them together." He smirked at her again. "Do you think that'll happen?"

"STOP IT!" she was losing it big time.

"Make me," he stated in a low quiet voice.

"What?"

"You want to be the alpha female. You earn your place by fighting for it."

"Wha…" That stumped her for a minute. "There are no other females," she blustered. "And I've beaten up everyone else," she added. Well call her stupid; that only left Sam and Jake. She **had** pretty much beaten up everyone else. Or else they were so submissive to her that she may as well have done it. She beat up Seth all the time. She was not entirely sure what category to put Paul in, and Sam these days was semi-retired. She had wanted to have sex with Paul and he had fucked everything else that moved and completely ignored her. She had felt like beating him up for that, but it had just never happened.

Jake was watching her, as if he was waiting for her to do the math.

She did the math and then she attacked him.

* * *

Leah's inner wolf took over. She was in a fight for dominance; a fight that only had three options: fighting, fucking or eating. Or maybe just two; Jake wasn't something to eat. He was also recently healed; he was weak and it was probably the closest she could get to beating him in a fight. She got one good hit in, up the side of his ribs and then she tried to knee him in the groin but he blocked it without difficulty with his good thigh. She went for his face with her nails and he caught her hands easily and slammed his whole body into hers, knocking the breath out of her against the wall. She struggled and growled at him. He laughed at her.

"You are fighting like a girl," he told her with disdain in his voice.

That seriously pissed her off.

She kept struggling with him, but he pulled her arms down and unexpectedly dropped to his knees; she was caught off balance and fell down with him; his greater weight tipped the balance. Her shoulder was in his chest now. He wrapped his arms around her and held on. She didn't phase but she could smell her inner wolf was damn close to the surface. The still human part of Leah was struggling too; struggling with the idea that her wolf was pushing her; that her wolf could make her do things that the human she wasn't entirely sure about. Things she wasn't sure were the right things to do. He was slowly working her body down and around against his; down to the floor. She was going to end up under him, face first on the floor.

She fought; she fought him with everything she had and it was never going to be enough. He had her in strength, reach and body weight.

But he was not fighting as hard as he could have been; it was as if he didn't really want to hurt her or maybe he was still hurting from his injuries. That was okay with human Leah, but wolf Leah saw it as a weakness. She made another concerted effort to fight him off.

With his body holding her down, he got a hand around each of her wrists and pulled her arms out straight and up a little. He slammed her wrists onto the floor. She went flat under his weight. She tried to push up and onto her knees, to push him off her back. She lifted him a little but he didn't lose his position. She threw her head back and tried to head butt him in the face.

He growled at her now. She had managed to piss off his wolf. His face was close to her neck and in some instinctive animal move he sank his teeth into the back of her neck. Some of the other imprints were marked. The mark was usually off to the side, in the meat of their shoulder where it met the neck. But Jake had sunk his teeth straight across the back of her neck right above her spine. And like a good wolf female she collapsed. It caught them both by surprise but he didn't let go. She didn't have a special fold of skin there for just this purpose, like a wolf pup or a kitten.

He shook her; worried her a little and growled again. Wolf Leah knew he was asking if she submitted to him. Human Leah was just petrified he was going to rip out her spine, human teeth or not. Her heart was thumping in her chest.

Wolf Leah knew what would come next. He had earnt the right to mate. She dropped further towards the floor and he followed her down; his chest pressed against her back. Her face was almost on the floorboards but her butt was up in the air. Wolf Leah pushed it against him. She felt him pause.

* * *

Jake was seriously conflicted. He had been trying so hard to fight her but not to hurt her, and now he had lost control and he had her neck in his mouth. He had broken the skin and the taste of her blood was on his tongue; a coppery metallic taste that was blood, but his nose was filled with a scent that was all Leah. He could smell her sweat, her hair, her skin, … her excitement.

When she dropped forward and pushed her ass against him, he had an instantaneous erection. Wolf Jake knew it was his right to mate; to finish what they had started but human Jake paused. He wasn't sure he wanted it like this. He wanted her; oh man did he want her …but like this?

He gingerly released her neck. He licked at the bite in apology. She didn't move. She was trembling now. He still had her physically overwhelmed. He managed to find his human voice, "Leah?" he asked tremulously.

"Finish it," she grunted at him.

"No, not if this isn't what you want. I can bloody you some more but I won't fuck you like this."

She groaned, "You have to…"

"What?"

"You were right all along; I earn my place by fucking the alpha." She sounded bitter.

"No, not like this," he breathed, "I don't want it to be like this."

"Fuck me!" she ordered.

He made no response. But then she said the magic words. "Please, Jake." She ground her ass against him and he could not stifle a groan. "I want you to… I want to be your female, Jake."

"Is that human Leah talking?" He still needed to check.

* * *

"Yeah…" she knew him; she knew him so well. He would need some sign that she really did want this. That human Leah had made this decision.

She couldn't move, he still had her pinned, but she could talk. She had got her voice back now too. "I want you so _badly_ Jake," she groaned. "I was lost in the vision quest until I could smell you. You carried me, didn't you? I know you did. I could smell you but I couldn't feel you. And then you went away again… but you came back, I felt your skin against mine. When you slept with me, I could hear your heart beating like a drum. I heard it in my vision quest. Your heart, beating against my back. It was like a tracking signal that I followed home. It was the **only** way I found my way out of the vision …to you, Jake… **you're** my home."

He hadn't moved. Jesus, what else did he want?

"Please Jake, please" With the final word she ground herself against him. Good God, if that was what she thought it was, he was huge.

* * *

Jake felt her grind herself against him and he made his decision. He wanted her and now she wanted him. It was easy.

Truthfully, he loved Bella Swan; had done from the time he was about 10, but his first love? That was Leah Clearwater; always had been. He had just put her on a pedestal level with a goddess; an untouchable goddess that he would never ever have the chance to be near. He worshipped her. She was older and exotic and he thought she was gorgeous and he had found every excuse in the book to follow her and his sisters while they played. He let them paint his nails that time just to be near her.

And here she was offering herself to him.

"I can't let you up," he told her. That would be equivalent to losing the fight to wolf Jake and he was not going to lose.

"I know," she said.

He moved her arm over and held both her wrists in one hand. His other arm slipped under her stomach and lifted her to her knees, whilst keeping her face low. She moaned. She was wearing her usual wolf pack attire. The boys lived in cut-offs but she had taken to wearing summer dresses made from t-shirt material. They were cheap; they looked it but they did the job.

He groaned and started to fumble with his cut-offs.

He pushed the back of the dress up and exposed her panties. He fumbled with those too but then in frustration he just tore them apart.

* * *

She grunted a little at the feel of her panties going. She felt him shift behind her. He muttered something about the angle being wrong and she pressed her chest into the floor and angled her butt up towards him. As a good wolf female she would have held her tail out of the way. He moaned and she felt the tip of him at her entrance.

She was so tight; it had been years since she had sex. Not that she thought any of the pack knew, but other than a couple of one night stands, Sam was her last real sexual partner. She held herself still and she felt him shove against her. She moaned again and shoved back a little.

He was in proportion; she remembered wondering about that. And clearly he had something extra in the width department too. Dear god.

"Leah? Are you okay?"

"You can't hurt me… you're my Alpha."

"You're so tight," he exclaimed.

"I'll be all right; I am not a normal girl, Jake."

"No," he agreed. "You, Leah Clearwater are extraordinary." He worked himself in another inch. "I will make it up to you later," he promised.

He kept shoving himself into her, inch by inch. She felt like he came to the end of her before he had got to the end of him. She was panting now and muttering half words. He withdrew slowly, until the tip of him rested at her opening again and then he worked his way back in.

She was wetter now. He did it again. He let go of her wrists and grabbed onto her hips with both hands. He pulled her back hard onto him. He started to drive himself into her. He was going so hard and so deep now. He hit her cervix and she shrieked. It hurt but in a good way. She got herself up onto her hands and tried to thrust her body back onto him.

He backed off a little and shifted his pace to include a lift at the end of each thrust. She shuddered and threw her head back, "Oh Jake," she moaned. "Almost there," her eyes were closed in ecstasy and a shiver started deep within her. "Oh yes…" she moaned as she orgasmed. She felt herself get even wetter around him, but he just kept going.

* * *

Jake needed to see her naked; he wanted that hideous t-shirt dress gone. He understood why she needed to wear them but he hated them with a passion. He started pushing the dress up her back. He lifted her a little and her arms were off the ground.

"Lose the dress," he instructed.

She got the idea and started to pull it over her head. She dropped it to the floor and shook her head free. She wasn't wearing a bra. He loved that long naked curve of her back. He lowered her back down to her hands and ran one of his up and down her spine. She had two little dimples at the base of her spine. With the size of his hands, he could hold her at the hip and his thumb fitted neatly into the dimple. He thought that was pretty cool.

He was still thrusting into her. He grabbed her with both hands and yep, both thumbs fitted perfectly into the dimples.

He leant forward and spoke. "You are made for me," he breathed. She grunted something in reply he didn't quite catch.

He noticed the bite mark on the back of her neck. He wanted to lick it; he wanted to apologize. He slipped one hand around the front of her body and lifted her up against him. He licked across the bite and she moaned. His hand slipped around and grasped her breast. He had slowed his pace now but he was still determined to make this last as long as possible; just in case he never got to be here again. You never could tell with Leah.

* * *

The change of angle took Leah's breath away and then she felt his tongue pass over the bite and she moaned. She felt a mad desire to have Jake lick her all over. Her hands reached back to touch him. She needed to touch him.

"I want…oh yes…I want to touch you…," she managed to say. "I want to lick you," she blurted out. She probably shouldn't have shared that one.

Jake stopped. He lifted her and flipped her around smoothly.

"Noooo…," she whined, "don't stop…God… don't stop…"

He smirked at her. "Well," he said, lifting her in his arms, "guess we should move to the bedroom then." She wrapped her long legs around his waist and he climbed to his feet and effortlessly carried her to his room. His leg was definitely not troubling him now.

He stopped inside the door and kicked it shut behind him. They were staring into each others eyes. It suddenly occurred to her that she hadn't even kissed him. They were so busy playing wolf; they forgot that most human of interactions; a kiss.

All of a sudden she was hesitant. She looked at his lips and up to his eyes and back to his lips. Nervously, he licked them. She made a little involuntary moan at the sight of the tip of his tongue. His head tilted slightly and he moved it towards her just a fraction. She leant into him with another glance from his lips to his eyes.

Their lips met and they kissed. He was so gentle at first and then the kiss deepened. His arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer to him. His tongue plunged into her mouth. He kissed her as if he wanted to crawl inside her mouth. It was all lips and tongue and teeth and **why** hadn't she done this years ago?

When they came up for air all she could manage was, "Wow… I'm sorry I sound like a high school girl but…Wow."

He beamed at her, "Yeah… goes double for me."

And then he threw her onto the bed. She made a completely high school girl shriek noise.

FF_2154210_ - 4/12/2010 12:49:00 PM


	21. Groundhog day

**Chapter 21 groundhog day**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Several hours later Leah was almost completely exhausted. They had fucked three or four times, had a shower, fucked again in the shower, eaten out the fridge and fucked in the kitchen. Jake told her it was her fault for leaning over the sink like that while she was wearing one of his t-shirts and nothing else. She was not sure she would ever look at the Black kitchen table the same again.

Then, they had gone back to bed and fucked some more.

The sheets were all over the place and were completely saturated. She was literally crawling away from him on the bed.

"Noooo… I can't do it any more," she begged. He was standing at the side of the bed sporting yet another ridiculous erection.

He grabbed her ankles and hauled her back towards him; her face dragging on the sheets.

"God, I am trapped in the porn version of Groundhog Day," she moaned. [AN: a wonderful line from the TV show 'Veronica Mars' – I take no credit]

"Come on Leah, if I can get it up, you can take it," he encouraged her. "Let's go for double figures." His hands grabbed her under her thighs and he lifted her lower half; her face hanging down towards the bed.

"For fuck's sake Black… I am not a wheelbarrow!" She tried to fight him but this position was so bizarre and she was utterly exhausted.

He ignored her as he stood there and wrapped her legs around behind him. He lifted her a little as he positioned himself and started to push into her. So slowly it was painful; well it_ was_ a bit painful now.

"Ow…ow…oh…oh… OH...ooohhh." It was indescribable; the angle; the blood rushing to her head. He fully sheathed himself and then he just… stopped. She was having trouble breathing she felt so full.

And then he started to slide out and push back into her. And he started to say her name.

That was all he said, but he said it in fifty different ways. She was speechless.

The last one started breathy, was drawn out in the middle and finished with a shout as he came inside her. She thought it was the **most** fabulous thing she had ever heard.

He fell on top of her on the bed and honestly she couldn't have cared less. She closed her eyes and passed out.

* * *

She must have slept. When she opened her eyes, it took her a while to remember where she was and then the angle seemed all wrong for Jake's bedroom. She sat up a little. Suddenly she realized what was different. "This is Rachel and Rebecca's room."

Jake stirred and stretched. "Yeah it is," he agreed. "Paul pointed out to me how stupid it was for me to have this room empty and to sleep in the smallest room in the house when I was the biggest wolf in the pack. I mean I didn't even fit in my little bed anymore." He rolled over and sat up with his back against the headboard. "So I shifted all their crap out into the garage and bought myself a nice big bed." He yawned. "Now I can stretch out and sleep properly."

"They'll beat you up if they come home and find all their stuff moved. I know them."

"Tough. I can take 'em," he said. He pulled her up onto the top of his body. "I can take you, I can beat them up."

She couldn't argue with that. She snuggled down and drew patterns on his chest with her fingertips. She felt Jake's hand at the back of her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Checking your temperature, you must be sick."

She pulled her head back and glared at him.

"You didn't argue with me," he explained evenly.

She rolled her eyes. He was watching her intently with his big dark eyes.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Jaaake…"

"Nothing."

"What is it? Really… tell me…"

There was silence and then he spoke in a very small voice.

"I am waiting for you to run away."

She just looked at him. She blinked. She opened her mouth and shut it again. She sat back from him. She was straddling his thighs now.

"I am waiting for you to decide you made a mistake and to run."

He shifted and folded his arms behind his head. It was as if he put his hands out of the way, just in case she did decide to run.

His eyes looked serious but there was something in their depths; like he really did expect to be hurt again. She suddenly realized he might look like he was over Bella, but her rejecting him for Edward and then for Paul had damaged him far more than she ever knew. He just didn't go around whining about it all the time, like she had done. She had worried about holding out _her_ heart to be beaten up again, but she had never even thought about Jacob's. She had found his wolf hair on that driftwood tree, so he was still moping around there and recently; Jake and Bell's secret place still had some significance for him.

"Is that why you wouldn't let me out of bed?"

He actually blushed. His eyes dropped and he bit at his lip.

She thought about it. He was watching her again. How did she feel? She sat there while he watched her expectantly and she tried to look inside herself like she had done on her quest. She felt exhausted; but in a good way. She had no idea how much actual sleep she had got last night. She had come over before lunch and it was the next morning now. Her limbs all felt boneless and she was really sore in places. She touched her lips; they were swollen a little from the intensity of Jake's kisses.

But how did she feel emotionally? She wasn't really good with that stuff, but she had made a promise to herself that she would try harder with that crap. She took in a deep breath and she closed her eyes. She felt silly but she tried to look inside herself.

She breathed evenly. How _did_ she feel? She felt comfortable, safe; that big empty void inside her that she had tried to fill with anger was full of… Jake.

She felt happy.

She almost didn't recognize it.

Something made her hold her hand out to him. With her eyes closed, she had no idea what was on his face but she felt him shift and place his huge hand around hers unhesitatingly. It felt warm, rough and oh so right. She squeezed it a little.

He tugged at her hand and she opened her eyes. He had pulled her hand over and placed it over his heart and then covered it with his. She just blinked at him, her eyes welled up and then the first tear trickled out.

His face fell. "Oh no…don't cry," he begged. "I'm sorry, you can run away… it doesn't matter… you can go… if you want to."

"It's okay," she sobbed. "I'm ha...appy…"

"Happy?" he queried. He sounded pretty doubtful.

"I love you, Jake," she sobbed.

"Oh Leah," he breathed, "Do you know how long I have waited to hear you say that?"

He reached for her face and cupped it in his hands; his thumbs wiped across her cheeks. He pulled her into him and kissed her.

She pulled back, "Don't kiss me, I am all snotty and wet."

"I love **all **your bodily fluids," he said intensely.

She smacked him in the shoulder, "Eww, gross Black."

He rolled his eyes. Then he paused and sniffed. "Hey, can you smell muffins?"

"No, my nose is all blocked."

Jake lifted her off him and padded naked towards the kitchen.

She went to the bathroom, blew her nose on toilet paper, used the toilet and washed her face.

When she came back to the bedroom Jake was standing holding a picnic basket; an honest to god picnic basket

"What is that?"

"It's a gift from Paul and Bella. Want to have a bed picnic?" He wriggled his eyebrows at her.

"Only if we change the sheets."

He grinned. "Deal."

They stripped the bed and she went and shoved the sheets in the washer and started it up, while he remade the bed. When she got back he was in the bed looking like a gift from the gods, or maybe one of those sheet commercials, with the top sheet delicately covering his groin. He patted the bed next to him. "I've got food," he encouraged. As if she needed encouragement.

She tilted her head to the side, "hmmm… I don't know…" she pretended to think about it. Then she beamed at him and slipped under the sheet next to him. The basket had juice, a thermos of coffee, hard boiled eggs and bacon muffins.

She was forcing down a last mouthful of muffin when she noticed the note tied to the handle. It said_:_

"_Jeez guys, you sound like you are both having a really good time. See you in a couple of days. Remember Jake …days… XOXOX P&B"_

"What does it mean?" she asked.

"Oh, it is just something Paul and I had a discussion about a long time ago."

She frowned at him. He was lying on his side leaning on his elbow.

"You really want to know?"

"Yes, I really want to know."

"When he got together with Bella he came over to talk; to apologize really for taking my girl…"

"Paul did that?"

"Yeah he did. Given I had beaten the living crap out of him the day before, it was pretty gutsy," Jake looked lost in thought for a minute. "And he suggested you and I should be together."

"Really?"

"He described you as 'a spectacular woman'," Jake added.

"Me? Wow."

"I mean he didn't know I had adored you since I was a kid, he just thought it would be neat for two shifters to mate on the basis that we could have sex for days."

She stared at him. There was silence for a beat. "Since you were a kid?" she queried.

"Oh you caught that, I thought you might catch the 'sex for days' bit."

"No I caught that too; I'll get to that bit."

"As long as you do," he leered at her.

"Don't change the subject," she reprimanded.

She watched him, he didn't speak. He reached for her hand, and rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. She waited.

He sighed. He looked up into her eyes. "Remember when I used to follow you and Rachel and Rebecca around all the time?"

She nodded. He just looked at her. "Really? That long?" she asked. He nodded. She just blinked at him. That long; and she had never noticed. And after that, her world had just revolved around Sam Uley.

She moved the picnic basket off and placed it on the floor next to the bed. Then she slid down level with Jake and she kissed him.

This time they didn't fuck; they made love.

FF_2154210_ - 5/12/2010 12:59:00 AM


	22. Together

**Chapter 22 Together**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

So she and Jake were together, in every sense of the word. Her vision had come true. She was his alpha female. He said he had to choose a new beta male. She put her money on Paul in a bet with Jared. Jared was betting on Embry.

Jake was so touchy feely it kind of weirded her out a little, but it was just so Jake, she couldn't complain. He was always hugging her, holding her hand, playing with her hair, popping into the police station to bring her a coffee or just to see her because he couldn't stand to be away from her for longer than that. It really was kind of adorable.

Now she understood what Paul had been trying to tell her about Jake. If he loved you, he let you know in a physical way. She understood now, why he was always hugging Bella. He still did, just not as much as he used to. She understood also that Bella would always mean something to him. Being with her didn't erase that. Jake wasn't her imprint, but she got now what Paul might have been trying to warn her about when he said that Jake and Bells had to be in each other's lives; they were a package deal. She got it.

The guys at the station made cracks about her 'boyfriend' and joked about him being big enough for her. She assured them he was just right. Six feet seven _was_ pretty big.

The pack were completely fine with them both being together. Paul and Bella were very happy for Jake and Paul naturally, tried to take all the credit for getting them together. She had avoided Sam and Emily.

She was still living with Paul and Bella, too. Not all her demons were slain.

She and Bella were talking one night while the guys were on patrol together.

"He has absolutely no clue what an amazing physical specimen he is," Leah whined. "I swear this woman in the diner deliberately spilt her drink on him yesterday so that she could rub her hand up his wet t-shirt. He had no idea! And then when he took the t-shirt off…"

"What did you do?" asked Bella perceptively.

Leah looked mischievous, "I might have growled at her."

"Really growled?" checked Bella. She chortled. But then she asked a more perceptive question. "What did Jake do?"

Leah rolled her eyes. "He smiled at me." She picked at the fabric on the armchair. "He gave me this smile so big it looked like it would split his face in half," she grumbled.

"I know that smile," said Bella dreamily. She chuckled. "I see your Jacob and I raise you … a Paul."

"Oh yeah… I hadn't thought of that," admitted Leah.

"Paul knows **exactly** what kind of physical specimen he is! He loves women and he loves flirting. He doesn't do anything more than that these days, but he can't help himself. And add in the fact that he has actually **had** sex with most of the women in Forks and half of them in Port Angeles and I would go completely insane if I let it get to me." Bella shook her head, "I cannot believe some of the women who recognise him. I cannot compete. I am just boring little ordinary me."

"But they love us," said Leah; she sounded incredulous. "And they both love **you** so you must be anything but ordinary, Bella Swan."

"I suppose," and she laughed.

"What's so funny?" asked Paul as he came into the living room.

"You are," Bella told him with a smile.

Jake followed him in the door and threw himself on the floor in front of Leah. He rubbed his face in her lap. "I am so tired; take me to bed."

"I have really got to get a place of my own, you know. I cannot stay here for ever."

"Sure, sure," he agreed, "but not right now."

* * *

Jake was feeling a little uncomfortable. He was sitting at the old kitchen table in his home, trying desperately not to remember how Leah had looked laid across that table, mere days ago. Getting a stiffy whilst talking to her Mother would definitely not be acceptable behaviour. Sue Clearwater, member of the tribal council and mother of his new girlfriend had asked to speak with him privately. Didn't get much more uncomfortable than that!

Sue cleared her throat. "Charlie Swan and I are dating," she said.

No wait, it could get more uncomfortable. Who would have thought it?

"Okay," he agreed. Jeez what else was he supposed to say?

"You are probably wondering why that is relevant but believe me, it is," Sue explained.

Jake just waited.

"I know my daughter has problems staying in our home because it reminds her of her father's death. I completely understand that and in some ways, it reminds me too. We, that is, Harry and I always intended for the children to have that house one day and I guess that events have just accelerated that."

Jake had no idea where this was going.

"Jacob, you have been caring for your father for a long time and with your new pack responsibilities that has become increasingly difficult for you…"

"I have been trying…" he interrupted.

She held up a hand. "Wait… let me finish."

Jake nodded.

"Jake you have been his almost full time carer since you were a child. I firmly believe it has helped to make you the man you are, but enough is enough. You have to have your own life. I am a trained nurse. This house is set up for him; the railings in the bath; the ramps; everything here makes life easier for Billy. So I will move in here with him."

She looked at him but he didn't know what to say.

"Charlie has been feeling guilty about spending time with me and not spending it with Billy, so it works out for all of us. Charlie would even be closer to Bella so he is happy too. I am not saying that he and I will live together. But maybe one day," then she stopped herself, "My goodness, why am I telling you that?"

She paused. "So you and Leah can have the house. And of course Seth. I hope you don't mind if Seth stays in the house as well."

Jake didn't know what to say. "Seth is fine," he said, "He's like my little brother anyway."

She smiled, "Yes, he idolizes you; always has."

"I know Leah only intended to stay temporarily with Paul and Bella and she worries about imposing on them," Jake said.

"Truthfully," Sue said, "I have already spoken to your father. He feels so guilty about you having to look after him for so long Jake. He wants you to have your own life, but all this pack stuff happened and you have _even more _responsibilities now. At least you should be able to go home and have a break; have someone look after you for a change."

Jake chuckled. "Are you seriously suggesting Leah will be the perfect homemaker?"

Sue snorted, "Goodness me no, but she has been behaving very differently lately. She even asked me about some recipes the other day."

Jake raised an eyebrow, "Recipes?"

"I know," breathed Sue, "I couldn't believe it either."

"I suspect that is probably Bella's influence."

She looked at Jake with affection. "I am so pleased you two have… oh I don't know how to say it… got together?" her voice changed, became sorrowful, "She was so hurt by Sam."

"I know."

"Is it wrong to pray that she never imprints?"

"No I don't think so, Sue. Imprinting has not done me any favours either."

"Oh yes, I had forgotten about that."

"Sue, just checking, but you did want Leah and me to live together? You're okay with that? It's pretty sudden. People will talk."

Sue looked him straight in the face. "Jake, as a council member I know what you both do. I know you risk your lives almost every week. I did not choose to subject both my children to such a thing, but it is what it is; I can't change it. It would be silly in the extreme for me to tell her not to live her life to the fullest. Just in case the worst happened. If she chooses to do that with you, I for one will be truly proud. I think you are a remarkable young man and I am honoured that you have chosen Leah as your alpha female. The fact that she is the only female is irrelevant; you chose_ her_ Jake and she knows that. It has made all the difference to her."

Jake reached across to grab Sue's hand. "She has done so well; she has a job and she is really getting herself together," he told her.

Sue squeezed his hand back. "You loving her, has healed her more than anything else. This vision quest thing has allowed her to deal with a few of her demons, but she is my daughter and I know she still has a few to go. Take my offer, please Jacob, for you both."

FF_2154210_ - 7/12/2010 12:27:00 PM


	23. Waggener the wise

**Chapter 23 Waggener the wise**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer - this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

Jake was a little nervous about telling Leah about the house plan. The only down side he could see was Leah having to deal with going back to the house she was frightened of. He really hoped she was okay with that, because after thinking about it, he thought it was fantastic. His Dad was looked after, he could stop worrying about his Dad, and he got to live with his girl, and his girl's mother was completely okay with that as a plan. It was all good in his book.

She thought about it for a little while and then she pretty much decided that if Jake was with her, she could cope with anything. He was secretly pleased with that. And she didn't seem to mind that he and her mother had worked it out without her. A real sign that she was getting more laid back.

It didn't take long to move Sue's stuff out to the Black house and move Jake's stuff in to the Clearwater house. Sue left most of the furniture other than her favourite chair. Leah had barely moved her stuff out in the first place, so she just had to pack one bag.

Jake couldn't exactly move the garage so he kept going back to the Black house to work on the cars and to see his Dad anyway. He thought it might actually work well like that until he got a real garage to run.

Sue was so open about her acceptance of them living together; it raised a few eyebrows around town, but the gossip mill ran down pretty quickly. It might actually make it to a nine day wonder, but he doubted it.

His new big bed looked great in the master bedroom. Leah admitted that it changed the whole look of the room and it didn't remind her too much of her parents. Having sex in her parent's bedroom weirded her out. Not that it stopped her. They talked about repainting the room or something for an extra touch to make it theirs.

Most of the pack helped them move. Sam and Emily were noticeable by their absence but Jake didn't let it get to him. The pack made numerous jokes about how much three wolves would eat and what size refrigerator they would need. Quil voted for one of those massive chest freezers; the ones that could hold a whole cow. He suggested they think about buying whole cows. They could even chew on the bones; nothing would be wasted.

Seth was so excited, at least until the first night when they christened their new home and he swore he was going to drill out his ear canals at breakfast the next morning before he headed off to school.

That afternoon Jake and Leah lay in their bed in their new home and discussed her dream. Jake decided he rather liked their post coital discussions. Leah seemed at her most relaxed and open then.

"So what else did you ask for?" he asked her.

She thought about it. "I asked for a home, a job, to deal with the dad guilt, and to deal with my anger and something else." She didn't want to tell him about the family thing; that was still pretty personal.

"What's next on your list then?" he asked. He wasn't going to push on what the 'something else' was. She would tell him, when she was ready.

"Sam… and Emily."

"Ouch."

"Yeah."

"You can do it. I have faith in you," he told her earnestly.

She just looked anxious.

He looked at her. "Can I share some more of Paul's wisdom?"

"Paul has wisdom?" she joked.

"Yeah; in his own funny way… he does. It was his idea for Seth and me to sleep with you; he thought it was a pack thing. Like sleeping in a puppy pile. He was right about that, wasn't he?"

"Okay. Let me hear the pearls of wisdom from the lips of Waggener the Wise."

Jake chuckled. "He thinks Sam still loves you. The imprint can't take that away."

"Like you and Bella," she interrupted.

He smiled at her. "Yeah," he agreed, "just like that. But you and Sam tied yourself up into some pretty bad knots over it."

Leah nodded. Thinking of Sam still hurt.

Jake continued, "Paul thinks the pack scared away any 'normal' men, especially Seth. He's your little brother but he tries to protect you from things he thinks will hurt you. Unfortunately he never let anyone get near enough to you, for that to happen. And Sam scares away the wolf boys who would have liked to date you." Jake was playing with her hair; running his fingers through it as he spoke; like petting a cat. It actually calmed her. She was tucked under his arm drawing patterns on his bare chest with her fingertips.

"Who? Other than Quil?" Quil was always ready to be jumped, so he didn't really count.

"What about Embry?"

"Embry…" she sighed. "I was a real bitch to Embry," she admitted. "I probably should apologise. Teasing him about not knowing who his father is was just cruel."

"You should do that; it will make you both feel better. But I think he still wanted you."

"Oh…" She hadn't really thought about it, but Embry had always watched her in his quiet way. He would probably have been anything she wanted, **if **she had wanted him. "He would have done pretty much anything I asked wouldn't he?"

"I suspect so. He would have been your fuck buddy if you had ever asked him, except for the fact that Sam would have stopped anyone except me, getting near you."

"Is that Paul's theory too?"

"Yep. He told me I was the only one that Sam could not stand up to. And that all four of us needed it. He thought Sam and Emily are just as damaged by this as you are."

"So why didn't you take his advice?"

"I was busy wallowing and besides …I didn't think you wanted me," he confessed.

"Oh Jake," she climbed on top of him. "Look at you," she said. "Should I make a list? You are the biggest, the strongest," she ran her hands down his chest. "Check out this body… and," she reached for his cock, "damn… you do know what to do with this." She gave it a gentle tug.

He blushed.

She sat back and looked at him. "But you know what really makes you…you?" she asked him. "It's your heart." She kissed him gently. "You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met."

His eyes shone. He returned her kiss, and then tossed her onto her back. She shrieked with the suddenness of the flip. Jake settled himself between her thighs.

"You make me feel like a real girl," she admitted. "You are the only person who can throw me around and make me squeal like a girl." She was embarrassed to admit it, but it was true.

"A girl?" he was incredulous. "You, Leah Clearwater, are a goddess." He kept kissing her as he positioned himself and thrust into her, "and you are _my_ goddess," he told her solemnly as he gazed into her eyes.

She was still wet and ready from their earlier session. He slid into her and watched her back arch with pleasure. He reached for her head and pulled her face onto his. He kissed her intensely as if he tried to crawl inside her mouth. She groaned as she sucked on his tongue and tried to move herself against him.

"Mine," he said as he drove himself into her. His arm slipped behind her hips and lifted her into him.

"Oh that feels so good, Jake," she muttered.

"My goddess," he told her again.

Her arms wrapped around his neck as he started to take up a long slow rhythm of shallow strokes into her. He heard her breathing change when he hit one spot in particular so he kept at it, working himself into her to keep brushing over that one spot. She pushed her feet into the mattress and lifted herself into him but her body slid up the bed each time she pushed.

She inched up the bed with each stroke from Jake. He lifted her onto the pile of pillows and reached with one hand for the headboard. He clamped his hand around it and used it for leverage; raising himself above her so that the only thing touching her was his long hard length as it now pounded into her.

"So good…oh yes…" she muttered. She reached up one hand to the headboard herself and hung on.

"Mine" he grunted, still holding to his relentless thrusting.

"Please..." she begged; she didn't even know for what.

His free arm reached behind her and tightened at the small of her back pulling her onto him harder. She started to pant as she felt herself getting closer to spilling over that edge.

"Are… you… close…?" he asked between thrusts, "running … out… of …bed."

She almost laughed but then she gasped, clutched at him and arched her back; bucking her body against his. He thrust into her as hard and as deep as he could. His nails dug into her back and she shuddered as he stayed pressed into her. They both cried out as they came together.

"Ohmigod… ohmigod…" she breathed. She continued to writhe as he tried to withdraw; the extra sensation from the after shocks was too much for her.

He emitted a low chuckle; a peculiarly masculine sound of a man who knows he did the job well.

FF_2154210_ - 7/12/2010 12:18:00 PM


	24. Loose ends

**Chapter 24 Loose ends**

_Disclaimer: the characters and all recognisable situations belong to Stephenie Meyer- this is a work of fan fiction, except for the legends and histories of the Quileute which, of course, belong to them. I pay my respects to their gods._

_Thanks to BanSidhe for betaing._

**AN: this is the last chapter and the end – bring your tissues –**

* * *

Jake convinced her that there was no time like the present and she should go and talk to Emily and Sam now. He assured her that he would go with her, but after that, she had to deal with it on her own. She knew he was right and she suspected he was going with her to make sure she actually did go and didn't chicken out at the last minute.

They just got dressed and went straight over there.

"We didn't shower. We stink of sex," Leah pointed out as they were sitting in the Rabbit.

Jake grinned at her, "Yeah we do; tough. Sam has to deal with it. He must have stunk of Emily to you and you had put up with that for how long?" he asked.

"I suppose so." She reached out and brushed her hand down his face. He just leant into her touch without taking his eyes off the road. They drove in silence the rest of the way.

She stood on the porch and rapped on the door.

The door opened and Sam stood in the doorway and looked at her. Jake stood behind her. He wasn't touching her, but just knowing he was there gave her strength.

"Leah?" Sam queried. It was not a 'what the fuck do you want?', but it almost sounded like one.

She cleared her throat, "I came to say congratulations… to you …both."

There was silence.

"Who is it Sam?" she heard from inside the room. Emily's head appeared in the doorway. Her jaw dropped open when she saw it was Leah.

She had been avoiding them, but she hadn't thought about how obvious it was. Her brave face had failed her recently. The fact that Emily was so shocked to see her, made her feel slightly ashamed of her behaviour.

She felt a light touch at her back from Jake; an extremely gentle, but insistent push.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

Emily's natural homemaker side won out, "Please," she said.

Sam stepped back but he sniffed at Jake as he came in the door. Jake just looked at him. Sam puffed up his chest and opened his mouth as if he was going to have a go at Jake, but Jake pre-empted him and just said, "No."

Sam paused; his face looked conflicted. Jake stared straight into his face from his full height. Jake shook his head. "Don't," he said; it was a warning and in the face of his unyielding authority, Sam deflated. Leah felt her heart race; this was the real pack behaviour. The alpha males fighting over her, the alpha female. Truth be told, that is how it really was in a wolf pack.

Jake hadn't even needed to use the command timbre of his voice; he was the Alpha and she was his. Sam could smell it and there was nothing he could do about it. He had made his choice a long time ago. If he was unhappy about it, that was his problem. She would really have to thank Paul the next time she saw him; Waggener the Wise was right.

Emily looked uncertain of what was happening, but she handled it the way she always did. "Would you like a drink? And I just baked some muffins…"

Leah realized she sounded as nervous as Leah felt. Maybe Paul was right about that too. Fuck, she might have to actually take _more_ notice of him in the future.

"Muffins sound great," she smiled at Emily.

"I need to go," Jake put in. He kissed Leah on the side of the head. "Come home when you are ready." He squeezed her hand. She looked into his eyes; they told her, he loved her and he knew she could do this and even if she couldn't, he would be waiting for her and he would pick up the pieces. She tried to tell him she loved him with her eyes, but she wasn't sure she was any good at that stuff. She really felt like jumping him, but in the middle of Sam and Emily's living room, that might be a bit rude.

"Sure, sure," she said.

He winked at her.

"Sam," he acknowledged him as he left.

Leah felt instantly nervous. Emily walked towards the kitchen and Leah followed. She sat at the table and let Emily fuss. She had no appetite and she picked at the muffin Emily placed in front of her. Sam had taken the discrete path of valour and had hidden somewhere.

"So you and Jake, huh?" Emily asked.

"Yeah," she admitted. She inhaled deeply; she could do this. She was Leah Fucking Clearwater. "Congratulations on the baby," she blurted out.

"Thank you."

"How many weeks are you?" Fucked if she knew what to say, but that seemed like a safe question.

"Ten weeks. I didn't want to tell anyone until 12 but Sam was so excited. He told everyone the first week we knew; he couldn't keep the secret."

I'll bet he was, she thought. And then she mentally slapped herself. Let it go Leah.

She picked at the muffin and told herself off. She had felt so much better after she had dealt with all the other stuff. This would hurt but she had to deal with this shit, too. She inhaled and readied herself for her next statement. Maybe if she just got it all out in one go, it would be done. Like ripping off a band-aid. But perhaps she should give Emily a warning.

"I need to get some things off my chest if you are up to it."

Emily looked grave, but she nodded. "That would be a good idea," she said.

"I did some serious thinking recently," Leah began, "And I realized that I was still angry with you and Sam. Angry with the imprint, angry with Sam for dumping me and angry with you for taking him from me. I actually thought that when he stopped phasing, the imprint would fade and he would love me again." She uttered a small laugh, but it sounded border line hysterical. "How fucked is that?"

Emily just stared at her.

She was almost there, just one more thing to say. "What I could never understand was why you took him so fast. He had to be whatever you wanted him to be; you didn't have to fuck him the first day." Her voice broke. Oh jeez, she was going to lose it.

"You were like my sister; my best friend," she wailed. "How could you do that to me?" A tear trickled down her cheek.

Emily's head was low. Her voice was muffled but Leah could hear her. "Do you know what we were fighting about? The day he took half my face off?" her voice was bitter.

She looked up at Leah. Her own eyes were bright with tears. She lifted her hair away from the ruined side of her face and pushed it towards Leah. "We were arguing about you," she said.

Leah inhaled sharply.

"I knew we had done the wrong thing; we had **both **betrayed you. I told him I wanted to end it. I told him he had to go back to you and make it right. And he panicked. He thought he had already lost you …and then he thought he was going to lose me too…" A sob escaped her.

Leah couldn't move. She had never imagined this. Sam had kept an extremely tight lid on that memory.

"It hurt so much…Leah, and the whole time I was healing I hurt even more for what we had done to you, but I couldn't let him go, then…" she begged, "who else would have me with this…_this __face._"

"Every time he sees me, he kisses the scar first… have you noticed that? Every **single** **time**, he reminds me of what we did to you… and every time I look in the mirror…" Emily was openly sobbing now, great ragged breaths that tore Leah apart. "…and I am so sorry… I am so sorry…"

She couldn't have said who moved first; maybe she did, with her greater speed, but they met somewhere in the middle. The two friends clutched each other, standing in the middle of Emily's neat kitchen and they sobbed their hearts out. Their knees buckled and they fell to the floor in a heap.

"No Emily," she finally managed to say, "I forgive you… it's not your fault… it's the stupid imprinting… I would never have wanted you to be hurt like this… it's not your fault." She knew then, just how much she had missed her cousin and her best friend. So in the spirit of this new insightful Leah, she told her.

"I missed you so much, Emily." She hugged her tighter.

"Ouch," Emily said.

"Sorry, did I squish the baby? Leah panicked.

"No you squished me!" Emily said and then they started to giggle. They giggled and wiped at their snotty faces and they smiled at each other.

Sam tentatively came into the kitchen. He looked petrified. "Is everything okay?" he asked in a very small voice. Emily reached a hand up to him and he pulled her up to a standing position and then they both reached for Leah at the same time. She took one of their hands in each of hers and when she rose, she kept going and she hugged Sam. His whole body was as stiff as a board; he had no idea what to do, so she hugged him harder. She could feel when he softened a little and put his arm around her shoulders. He felt so familiar and he smelt like him but it just didn't do it for her anymore.

She pulled her head back. "Everybody's forgiven," she told him.

"Okay," he agreed, but he looked doubtful. She couldn't really blame him.

"I need to go," she told them. She gave Emily another hug and she left them. She left them together.

When she got out the front door, she felt like she could breathe properly for the first time in years. Her chest had always felt so tight; like there was some thick elastic band around it. It was the anger; she had carried that shit around with her for years.

She looked up at the sky and she thanked her own personal Yoda; her Father. She said a prayer of thanks to the Gods for giving her the strength and the opportunity to heal herself.

She gave a little excited hop in place and then she ran; she ran back to Jake.

She ran in the front door so fast and she threw herself at him. He had come partway to the door to meet her. He must have heard her coming.

She threw herself at him and _he __caught __her._

* * *

**In heat**

Paul thought it was an image he would probably never forget.

Leah had gone into heat and Jake had taken her into the forest; it seemed the safest place. He had been watching her like a hawk around the time period Charles had suggested. And he had never left her alone. Normally she would have got snarky with him, but she was fine with it and that made him more concerned. Quil was always sniffing around her, so that he had ignored. But when Embry started to do it; he had whisked her away. He Alpha ordered the others not to phase and not to try and follow them or track them, just in case. It seemed like a necessary insurance.

Wolf Jake would kill anyone who tried to touch her and they knew that as humans, but as wolves they might try to take the risk and no one, least of all Jake, wanted to be responsible for what could happen.

Any vampires who came through the area this week would be in luck.

As the new Beta male, Paul was assigned to meet them.

So here Jake was, coming out of the forest after days of being missing. He was carrying Leah and he was covered in scratches and bites.

It was definitely an unforgettable image.

"Is she injured?" Paul asked with concern.

"Nope, just can't walk," Jake answered. He was walking pretty gingerly himself.

"Hey Paul," Leah muttered and buried her face in Jake's neck.

"Damn, guys," he breathed as he totalled up the damage and the kind of sex they must have been having to both be quite so marked and unable to walk. And then he gave his odd barking laugh. "You are the MAN, Jake… hey did you guys do it in wolf form… did she pass out… you can tell me." He danced around them like an eager puppy, as Jake walked slowly across the grass.

Jake just gave him a look; admittedly it was a bit smug.

"Oh come on," whined Paul. "That would be amazing! Sex for women is all about the mind anyway, so if you could be in her head when she has an orgasm… fuck… that would be incredible… oh come on… I am _never_ going to do that… you can tell me…"

Jake just ignored him and kept walking towards the house.

Paul was sure he heard him laugh.

* * *

**AN: thanks for reading and reviewing – I am messing with the next part of this series – it will be Embry and Quil playing detectives to discover the identity of Embry's father – maybe I should call it "who's your daddy?" bwahaha**

**And I did call it that! The story is posted and you can find it here:**

fanfiction(dot)net/s/6621085/1/Whos_Your_Daddy

FF_2154210_ - 1/12/2011 01:52:00 PM


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